


the Devils dance outside on my doorstep (can’t take my eyes off of you, don’t want to blink)

by theshipstorulethemallwrites



Series: stand and fight [2]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Jewish Character, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Jealousy, Jewish Holidays, Mentions of Sexual Content, Multi, Mutual Pining, Rule 63, Slow Burn, Teenage Horniness, canon typical language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 03:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 37,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21292709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theshipstorulethemallwrites/pseuds/theshipstorulethemallwrites
Summary: When Jack Hughes gets to New Jersey, there are things she expects. The pressure, the expectations, the team, the success. She doesn’t anticipate falling in love with two of her teammates, especially not the two other first overalls, who she thinks are in love with each other.Or two girls and a guy fall in love, win some hockey games and figure out how to be whole.
Relationships: Auston Matthews/Matthew Tkachuk, Jack Eichel/Noah Hanifin, Jamie Benn/Roope Hintz, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin, Kyle Dubas/William Nylander, Nathan Bastian/Michael McLeod, P.K. Subban/Lindsey Vonn, Taylor Hall/Nico Hischier/Jack Hughes, mentions of
Series: stand and fight [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1519142
Comments: 21
Kudos: 47
Collections: Hockey Big Bang (2019)





	the Devils dance outside on my doorstep (can’t take my eyes off of you, don’t want to blink)

**Author's Note:**

> if you or anyone you know is mentioned in this fic, please hit the back button and go watch one of the John Mulaney specials on Netflix, that should take as much time as reading this would and be an infinitely better experience for you. Thanks!
> 
> this is by far the longest project I've ever completed and I owe many people thanks but if I thanked them all we'd never get to the fic. 
> 
> so first to N, my wonderful beta who doesn't follow hockey but was willing to read over and gush over 37k of three people falling in love. I truly adore you. Thank you for making this fic better.
> 
> second to H, who has been there since this fic was just an idea in my head, who helped me shape scenes and character dynamic and held my hand throughout the time consuming process. thank you for keeping me sane when I thought I took on too much, for always encouraging me, for listening to me vent about this fic for the past four months. now I can get back to the mob verse. lol. but for real, I love you so much, this fic would not have existed without you.
> 
> third to A, who made this absolutely [mix](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e50WDts2r40Hix6yOPmat?si=JO0gYdM1RBWAX4dctCD-aQ) and [cover](https://66.media.tumblr.com/52ce350e62b053ad0dfe95caed9d26cb/00f07b67ad579acf-27/s1280x1920/37ce147a671d56140da03f3b79f9d2aa22a0cff6.jpg) . you're amazing. I want you all to know that this mix is a combination of American artists, Jewish artists and artists from New Jersey, which is basically this fic in a nutshell
> 
> finally, to all the people who I sent snippets too, who sprinted with me, who listened to me talk about this for months. you are the best and I'm incredibly grateful for your presence in my life

The house is two stories and if Jack hadn’t gotten the address from a very nice lady in HR, she’d think she was in the wrong place. She’d been taken aside by Auston when they’d both been in Toronto after the draft, first overall to first overall, woman to woman. There she’d been told in the blunt manner that Auston Matthews is known for, that Taylor Hall isn’t exactly over Edmonton. That when Auston had visited her the year before, there wasn’t anything on the walls, that Taylor still refused to move in.

It makes her a little sad, looking at the wrap-around porch and the swing she knows is somewhere around the back. It’s a place to make a home. Somewhere like the place that Jack had grown up in.

But she knows that Taylor still hasn’t re-signed, that part of what Jack and PK are doing is to convince Taylor to stay, is to show that Jersey can build a winner on the backs of women like Washington did, like Los Angeles did.

The convincing will take place mainly on ice, but Jack wants to make this a home for Taylor. They’d trained together a little over the summer and Jack won’t pretend that she knows Taylor but she wants to and that’s the first step.

Clearly Taylor’s been expecting her because she knocks on the door once and after a few seconds the door is flung open and there is Taylor Hall, herself, in a backwards snap-back, a devils crop top and booty shorts. And she’s beaming at Jack.

And oh fuck.

Oh god, Jack didn’t think this through. Her poor bi ass.

She almost wants to check her mouth for drool, but that would make things really awkward so she grins. “Hey Taylor.”

“Hey, rookie. Let me get one of your bags,” Taylor says and Jack nods dumbly.

“Thanks,” she calls, grabbing her gear bag and one of her suitcases that is basically just clothes and like eight pairs of shoes.

She likes shoes just fine but she doesn’t understand people who have eighty pairs of shoes, it makes no sense to her.

There are better things to spend money on, like hockey tickets and new gear. And yeah, she’s never really needed to dress up a ton, never had anyone to dress for.

Maybe it’s partly a romance thing. She thinks it might be because when Alex started dating Trevor, her roomie had suddenly started buying a few more pairs of shoes and dresses.

It’s not that she hates dressing up, she wishes she had more reasons to, honestly.

But there’s a difference between stuff that she’d wear for a partner and stuff that she wears to hockey. Sometimes she resents the sport for what it has taken from her, but then she puts on her skates and everything else fades away.

It’s Taylor, yelling at her from upstairs, that breaks her from her melancholy, “rookie, come on, put your stuff in your room.”

“You got somewhere to be, Hallsy?”

“It’s Sunday, I was in the middle of season 4 of Friends.”

Jack laughs, bringing her stuff upstairs to a very, very basic guest room. There’s a bed, a desk, and some flowers on the nightstand.

“Aww, Taylor, you got me flowers.”

Taylor huffs a laugh, “they told me I was billeting a rookie and I figured that Nate and Mikey would be living together somewhere so I suspected it would be you. It’s why the flowers are roses, orchids, and hydrangeas, red, white and blue, ya know.”

Jack smirks. “USA hockey is do or die.”

A laughing Taylor turns towards the door to head back downstairs. “Let me know if you want to go to Target or something to get stuff. Feel free to make the room yours.”

Running her hand over the bedspread, Jack looks up and nods, Taylor letting the door swing shut and for the first time in what feels like months, she’s alone.

She’s been surrounded by people basically since the draft, her parents treasuring the time that they have her home. It’s the same thing they did with Quinn when he went off to college and Jack isn’t mad about it, but between her parents, her friends and the demands of being a first overall, she doesn’t feel like she’s had time to breathe.

It’s why she got there a week before training camp started, once she’d heard that Taylor was already here. This place will hopefully be her home for the rest of her career, she wants to get to know it.

Putting her gear bag in the corner, Jack pulls her hair back in a bun, a few curls not making it up and brushing against her neck as she starts putting her stuff in the absolutely massive closet.

It’s a walk-in and it’s bigger than anything she’s had before. She takes a picture before she puts most of her stuff in and sends it to one of her many group chats.

GC: *sips tea* BIIIITCH  
Me: *image of near empty closet* this is Hallsy’s guest closest. I can’t fill it  
EA Cover Girl: Willy and I will send you stuff  
Saader: you should see Tazer’s closet, that’s a massive one  
J Eichs: junior you need more clothes  
Me: name twin, I haven’t finished unpacking yet  
The Mom Comeback: you settling ok?  
Me: yes, Hallsy’s watching tv  
Me: she said something about working her way through Friends

She tosses her phone on the bed, flipping on the playlist that Jack had made her while they’d been in Europe.

She needs to get the wifi password at some point, but first things first, unpacking her shit.

It takes at least an hour to hang everything up and she heads downstairs, still in her USA hoodie and shorts.

“What episode are you on?” she asks, grabbing some water from the kitchen and standing at the counter.

“The One Where Everyone Finds Out,” Taylor responds and Jack knows she’s grinning.

“Mind some company?” she asks, not wanting to say that this particular episode is the only Friends episode that she’s bothered to see more than once.

“Course not, come sit with me,” Taylor says.

Jack doesn’t want to get too close, Taylor doesn’t really know her yet, so she curls up at the other end of the couch, snagging a blanket and tucking it around herself.

It’s a nice night, one that Jack hopes previews the nights to come. A break from hockey.

“I’m going to call an uber and head to Target,” Jack says when the episode ends, she’d glanced at what’s in the kitchen and she definitely needs to buy herself some yogurt and some baking stuff. She bakes when she’s really stressed out and she knows that at some point, she’ll need to bust out the mixer and the measuring cups. Not now, but later.

Taylor nods, clicking play on the next episode.

Jack slowly gets used to living with another girl in a room that’s not a hotel room, Taylor will wander around in just a tank top and sweats and it’s a lot. Jack hasn’t had to take this many cold showers since she was 13 and horny over everything.

It’s worse than simply being attracted to Taylor because she’s now known as “Hallsy’s rookie” to the team. She spends all her time with Taylor so far and she knows that she falls pretty damn quickly for people even if she does nothing about it.

So the fact that Nico Hischier, who she already was attracted to, is over at their house constantly, mostly watching movies on the couch with Taylor when Jack comes home from letting New Jersey see their shiny new superstar, well, that complicates things.

“Hey Hughes,” Nico calls to her when she opens the door, running her hand through her curls that are finally free from being squashed under a Devils cap for the whole afternoon.

“Hey Hischier,” Jack says, plopping on the couch in the seat that’s normally Taylor’s, but right now is empty.

“Where’s Hallsy?” she asks as Nico scrolls through Netflix for something to watch.

“She texted me that she went to New York for the night, told me to stay on the couch or one of the guest rooms,” Nico explains. Jack raises an eyebrow at him and he wacks her with one of the throw pillows.

“She doesn’t want you to be alone, apparently Seguin told her horror stories about her first few weeks in Boston when she lived alone and people were basically stalking her.”

“Glad to know she cares,” Jack quips, snuggling into the couch.

Nico shoots her a sidelong glance, “Anyway, anything you want to watch? I remember what this week was like for me three years ago. All the nerves and pressure.”

“My feel good movies are anything Mel Brooks or Thor: Ragnarok, either of those sound good,” Jack says, tugging the blanket around her shoulders. She’s probably going to fall asleep halfway through because these past few days have been long as fuck.

“Thor: Ragnarok,” Nico says with finality, clicking play.

They’re at the scene where Thor is fighting against the Hulk in the arena and Jack feels warmth at her side that wasn’t there before. Nico’s been inching closer and Jack grins, pulling him in and tossing her legs over his lap.

“Cozy,” Nico teases and Jack pinches him once, nodding to the movie. Nico laughs out loud at Loki’s reaction to the Hulk and when the credits roll an hour or so later, Jack realizes she spent most of the movie watching Nico watch it, rather than watching it herself.

She doesn’t have time to dissect that. Training camp starts tomorrow and she doesn’t know whose line she’ll play on but she doubts she’ll play with either Nico or Taylor. She knows well that the coaching staff would be idiots to separate those two and coaches never want to be idiots.

She texts the group chat that she shares with Jack and Auston instead of thinking about how watching Nico watch one of her favorite movies was better than watching the actual movie.

GC: “I deserve everything” - M. Rapinoe 🍾

Me: training camp starts tomorrow  
EA Cover Girl: don’t break a pane of glass  
EA Cover Girl: not worth the PR fit over them finding out that you’re actually not into the guy who passed you the puck  
J Eichs: oh so you and Marner aren’t a thing?  
J Eichs: never would have guessed  
Me: 😂😂  
J Eichs: seriously junior, you’ll be fine  
J Eichs: you’ve got help in this  
J Eichs: just don’t hold back  
EA Cover Girl: it does nobody good if you try to pretend that you aren’t better than most of the guys there  
Me: 👍  
EA Cover Girl: get to know everyone, even the people who will be getting sent down  
J Eichs: listen to everything  
EA Cover Girl: ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT DRILLS  
J Eichs: yeah it’s always better to get help than look foolish  
Me: there’s a story there…….  
J Eichs: the bf is an idiot  
Me: Hanifin?  
J Eichs: yeah, he did an entire drill wrong, tripped over his own skates and had to sit out the next four drills. Wasn’t a good look for my guy  
EA Cover Girl: did you finally listen to bingemode harry potter?  
J Eichs: YES  
Me: fucking finally  
EA Cover Girl: it only took 2 years of me yelling at you  
EA Cover Girl: thanks for teaming up with me Hughesy  
Me: anytime  
EA Cover Girl: i got skate tomorrow, night guys  
J Eichs: night  
Me: night Aus

Jack goes to bed and doesn’t think about Nico sleeping a few room ways, about how Taylor sleeps next door, about how Taylor’s bed could fit all three of them. She doesn’t.

(she does and she wakes up with her night shirt twisted and a wet spot in the bed.)

When she agreed to live with Taylor she didn’t think that she was also agreeing to intense sexual frustration.

Training camp goes as well as she can hope, she’s dog tired every day and she’s in front of the camera almost as much as she is on the ice. She meets Nate and PK and she doesn’t bother hiding how much she loves getting to be on a team with so many other women.

Miles teases her about getting her devil horns for the season opener and she remembers that they open at home and she definitely doesn’t have an outfit for that.

When she asks Taylor about it as they’re having dinner after the final day of training camp, Taylor has a look of panic that Jack knows she was wearing a few hours earlier.

“I normally wearing suits,” Taylor admits, toying with the strands of hair that have fallen out of her ponytail.

“I know,” Jack says, grabbing some brussal sprouts from the plate in front of her. Taylor is known for wearing suits. While Seguin had worn a dress at the draft, Taylor had worn a suit and that had continued throughout their careers.

“Now that PK is here, I have to step up my game,” Taylor says, pulling out her phone and sending a text to someone.

Jack laughs, burying her face in her hands for a minute. “I need a dress.”

“I can get you Segs?” Taylor offers, nodding at satisfaction with whatever she just saw on her phone.

Jack nods, “That would be great.”

Taylor grins, “You’re in good hands with her, rookie, she’ll find something that will make people stop and stare.”

Biting down on the flirty response on the tip of her tongue, Jack smiles, “Thanks Hallsy.”

“Anything for my rookie,” Taylor responds and Jack pinches her thigh, reminding herself that this is just platonic, this is just a girl helping her out. After all, they’re still at the kitchen table, Taylor’s not saying that to her in bed after a good game. Fuck, that’s not an image she needs right now.

“Here, I’ll text you her number,” Taylor says, sending Jack a contract that just reads “Segs 🥈🌟💚”

To Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
Hey. It’s Jack. Hughes. Taylor said you could help me get a dress for the home opener is a few days. I don’t think I have anything that works

From Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
Hey girl hey. Absolutely, i’ll help send me a pic of you wearing a dress you got a lot of compliments on

To Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
*image of a makeshift prom photo shoot with Alex and Trevor, Jack in a v neck blue dress with a thigh high slit*  
I lost count of the number of compliments I got on it

From Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
GIRL  
YOU LOOK SO GOOD  
Ok I’d say go a little more conservertive for the home opener, make that dress red and wear it to the ASG

To Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
Gotcha  
red/black color scheme?

From Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
Oh def  
Roope and I just went shopping today and let me tell you that girl looks 🔥🔥🔥🔥 in gold with green accents

To Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
Ooooohh give me the gossip Segs  
Who’s she trying to impress?

From Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
She wouldn’t tell me 😭  
But she’s basically a rookie, want me to give you her number?

To Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
Yes, gimme  
Gus is basically the other rookie but i really could use a girl to talk to, you know

From Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
I’m pretty sure Taylor is a girl…….

To Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
She’s wise and old  
Not old  
Just not a rookie

From Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
Wait for it

Jack looks up from her phone at Taylor, who is glaring at her in mock betrayal, “Rookie, how could you call me old?”

“I called you wise,” Jack protests.

She shoots Tyler a quick text.

To Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
You fucker

From Tyler Seguin 🌟:  
😂😂😂😂😂

“Buddy, you’ll learn. Segs and I are the closest one two punch still the league, well, excluding Marleau and Jumbo of course,” Taylor laughs, getting up and pulling a pint of mint chip ice cream from the freezer.

Jack nods, sticking her spoon in the ice cream and eating a few bites before yawning, feeling her exhaustion catch up to her.

“Jack, go to bed,” Taylor says, looking at her fondly and Jack nods, heading up to bed and falling asleep the minute her head hits the pillow.

It’s a week later, her dress hanging up in her closet, her heels on the floor and her makeup sitting on the counter when it finally hits her.

She’s playing in the NHL.

Yes, she’s not playing center but she’s still in the lineup.

She grins, tugging on her dress and heading to the bathroom to do her makeup. Her mom had always told her to “not let them forget you’re a girl.”

Jack always takes her mom’s advice seriously but especially about this, carefully applying cat eyes and bright red lipstick as her phone blasts the new Taylor Swift album.

There’s a car waiting for her outside, with Sam, the same driver who has been driving her around since she got to Jersey. He grins when he sees her, “Well you clean up nice.”

“Gotta make a good first impression,” Jack says, smacking her lips together and sliding into the car. She’s putting on a front, she knows it and she’s pretty sure that Sam does too.

The car pulls up to the arena, with the red carpet and the fans, and she lets the noise wash over her, the sound of people cheering, it’s like the waiting room to her comfort zone because it means it’s not long until she’s on the ice.

Stepping out of the car, she carefully smooths out her dress, it’s a black tank top with a floor length red skirt that flares out just above her ankles. Jack grins, spotting a girl in a Hughes jersey the minute she steps on the carpet. It feels like a coronation, like she’s about to conquer and she makes a beeline for the girl.

“Hey, do you want me to sign your jersey?” she asks, bending down a little to look directly in the eyes of the ten year old blonde who nods eagerly, turning to ask one of her parents for a sharpie.

She takes it from the mom who grins at her, and signs the back of the girl’s jersey.

“You play?” she asks, grinning as the girl nods and the mom smiles, saying, “She’s got posters of you all over her walls.”

“That’s awesome!” Jack exclaims, “what’s your name bud?”

“I’m Anna,” is the soft reply.

“Well it’s very nice to meet you Anna, I’m sure I’ll hear your name at the draft,” Jack murmurs, “good luck.”

She stands up and signs a few photos for fans, gets interviewed by Amanda and gets a pair of red horns plopped on her head by Miles who beams at her.

“Love the horns,” Goose comments when they end up next to each other on the carpet.  
“Is Miles giving them out to everyone or just the girls?” Jack asks, craning her head to look down the carpet because she knows from the cheering that PK has just arrived.

“I saw that Hallsy had some on when I got here,” Goose confirms, grinning, “so I think it’s just the girls.”

“Everyone on this team could rock the devil horns, not just the girls,” Jack comments, getting overheard by Damon who grins, swiping the horns off her head and putting them on his own.

“Hey, give them back. I’ll wear them today but probably not again,” Jack says, starting out joking but going serious and Andy raises an eyebrow.

“Everything good, rookie?” he asks, slowing down as he nearly walks past them.

“Yeah, just the connotations of me, a Jew, and devil horns aren’t the greatest,” Jack admits and all the guys frown at her.

“I can tell Miles to knock it off,” Andy offers, being the captain that the letter on his jersey says he is, and Jack shakes her head.

“There’s already pictures, might as well own it.”

Damon hands her the horns and she carefully puts them on, noticing that they’re fancier than simple store bought costume horns. She flips her hair once, so the curls fall around her face and smiles, striding over to a few teen girls and signing their jerseys.

She almost forgets that this isn’t simply playing for the USA or the program as she makes her way to the locker room, but then she spots Taylor and Nico, both still in their suits, talking outside the locker room. She stops, her mouth nearly falling open at them all dressed up in person. She’s seen pictures, of course she has, but holy shit is it different in person.

Taylor’s in a black suit with a bright red lace camisole, the pants hugging her ass and Jack feels faint. But then her eyes take in Nico’s outfit, a navy blue suit with a white undershirt and a fucking vest and a red polka dotted tie and she really does check her mouth for drool.

Fuck, they look good.

She notices the sharp inhale that Nico makes when he sees her, the widening of Taylor’s eyes and she spins around, grinning at them.

“I like the horns,” Nico comments, “makes you seem dangerous.”

“Thanks Hischier, you clean up nice,” Jack responds, trying to hide the pain in her chest as she notices the way Taylor beams at him.

“The vest really does make the look,” she adds, trying to pretend like she’s just noticed and hasn’t been staring for the past few moments.

She feels like she’s on the outskirts of the conversation and it feels like something is jamming at her as she realizes they’ll compliment her but they won’t draw her in. There is no space for her to fit. Not with the way Taylor is curling around Nico so they look like a matched set.

Nico slings an arm around her and they grin at each other, smiles so like the ones she’s seen them share while lounging on the couch back at Hallsy’s that Jack almost thinks they’re about to just tell her what movie they’ve decided to watch. They do that, quite often, read each other without speaking and it makes her miss Cole something awful. Makes her miss Alex really badly. The easy understanding, the connection. She keeps thinking that she’s found that with Taylor and Nico but than she’s hit over the head with evidence that all they need is a push to be something. And that aches because she’ll never fit with that. Sometimes during her more bitter moments she wonders how Radulov plays with Benn and Seguin.

She knows that she wants them, that she wants to kiss them, but just like with Cole, just like with Alex, hell just like with Willy, she’s sure it will fade once she gets to know, once she’s seen them on the ice. That’s just what happens with her, it’s partly why she hasn’t dated yet. She’s attracted to hockey players, until she plays with them, that is. So, she’s limited for options.

“You coming, rookie?” Taylor calls and Jack rushes to catch up. The three of them slip into the locker room after nearly everyone else. Jack doesn’t think she was out in the hallway that long but apparently she spent a few minutes trying to not swallow her tongue before they noticed her.

“Ahh, there are our trio of first overalls,” PK teases, “doing some ritual or something?”

Nico laughs, shaking his head, “Just needed a minute.”

Jack bites her lip, not wanting to think about the suggestive tone in PK’s voice as she turns to Taylor and says, “That quick huh?”

Getting on the ice is like nothing else, ever, Jack never wants to leave, doesn’t hear anything during intermission, eyes fixed on the door that leads her back to paradise.

The Jets have been surprisingly well disciplined, managing to not take a penalty until Wheeler takes a sticking call in the final minutes of the third. The score is tied and Jack leaps over the boards, joining PK, Nico, Taylor and Palms on the power play.

Nico wins the draw cleanly, the puck landing on PK’s stick who kicks it to Jack, who sees Taylor out of the corner of her eye, blonde hair whisping out her braid, in the space between two defenders and she acts like she’s trying to shoot but instead whips it to Taylor who goes top shelf above Brossoit’s shoulder. The arena explodes and Taylor collides with Jack as she skates around the boards, shouting in joy, “Fucking right rookie, what a fucking pass.”

The collision is almost more of a tackle as she slips and falls, crashing down to the ice, hands clutching Taylor’s hips.

“Oof,” Taylor murmurs and it’s so cute that Jack has to laugh because otherwise she’d kiss her.

They get sprayed with ice and Jack looks past Taylor, though tearing her gaze away feels like she just got double shifted in overtime of a championship game, to see Nico standing there, grinning at them.

“You gonna help us up?” Taylor asks, lifting her head and smirking at Nico, sharing one of those wordless conversations that Jack’s already seen them have more times than she can count.

Nico nods, tugging them both up, his gloved hand pressed against Jack’s arm and Jack wants to lean in. She almost does until she sees the soft way Nico is gazing at Taylor, mouthing a “fucking beautiful” to her and the way Taylor beams in response. It’s not her place to interfere, it’s not her place at all.

As they’re skating back, Nico hips checks her into the boards, “Nice fucking pass Hughes.”

She beams, “I know.”

She’s pressed between Taylor and Nico, the crowd roaring in her ears and she was wrong before, about the ice being paradise, this, them, is the true garden. If she could she’d bottle this up and save it for nights when the stars seem gone but she can’t. Because she sees them exchange glances above her head and suddenly Taylor is skating toward the bench, suddenly she’s alone at the boards.

She inhales deeply when she’s sitting on the bench again, a couple of people between her and Taylor and Nico, because she knows the feeling in her chest, knows that she’s falling, knows that whatever she feels is a tiny echo of what they feel for each other. They deserve all the happiness and she’s clearly the one taking the picture, not the one in it.

Jack doesn’t really notice the game ending, but she’s on the ice as the final buzzer sounds. PK immediately tugs her into a hug as they skate towards Schiends, mobbing him with head pats and Jack gets hugged or ass tapped by all her teammates. She pretends not to notice the way Nico and Taylor seem wrapped up in each other, like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

She doesn’t think it could get worse but they go out and PK’s fiancee joins them, Lindsey immediately bringing Jack something bright blue and full of alcohol the minute they get to the bar. She sips on it, arm slung around Nate as Mikey rests his head on her shoulder and she keeps her eyes focused on the dance floor, instead of the couple beside her. The couple that keeps kissing and running their hands over each other, so fucking comfortable even where the cameras can see.

She tracks her teammates, so used to being the only one who didn’t hook up at NDPT, that it’s more instinctive than anything. That means her eyes see Nico gazing out at the dance floor, jaw clenched. She follows his eyes and sees Taylor, sandwiched between PK and Lindsey, grinding up against Lindsey, her head thrown back in laughter at whatever PK is saying.

She looks alive, almost as bright and brilliant as she looks on the ice and the wave of longing that hits Jack feels overwhelming, like she’s been standing under the spotlight, drunk and dizzy. Everything but Nico’s face, but the echo of Taylor’s laugh, but the feel of them pressed against her, it feels hazy, like the world has lost focus and the only thing that’s sharp is them.

She needs to get out of here, needs to sleep, needs to wake up and remember her place. She’s a rookie, on a team with two other first overalls, she’s not the savior of this franchise, she’s not the female half of the dynamic duo. She’s just Jack Hughes, that’s all.

“Hey you ok?” Sami asks her, looking at her like all of the female defenseman she’s ever met.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just crashing I guess,” Jack mutters, tearing her eyes away as Nico swallows his drink and strides towards the center of the dance floor. This isn’t something she thinks she’s allowed to witness, even though she knows she’s going to picture the possibilities when she fingers herself before bed.

“Want me to take you back to Hallsy’s?” Sami offers and Jack nods, drowning the rest of her drink. When she stands up, she nearly falls over, unsteady on her feet after sitting down for so long.

“What was in that drink?” she murmurs and Sami laughs, her dirty blonde hair nearly hitting Jack in the face.

“Wait, my devil horns,” she murmurs, and Sami grins.

“I got ‘em rookie.”

“Thanks babe, you’re the best. Not as good as Hallsy but,” Jack murmurs, wrapping an arm around Sami as the other woman calls an uber.

“Yeah, rookie, no one’s like Taylor,” Sami laughs and Jack doesn’t bother hiding her adoring sigh, turning around to wave back at the team, her team, who are still celebrating their first win. The first of many to come, Jack’s sure.

They’re on the plane home, high on the win in Philly and excited, like always, for the Edmonton game but Jack doesn’t really want to share in the joy. To be more accurate, it was Jack who nearly single handedly won them the game. Because if she had to miss Yom Kippur she was going to win the fucking hockey game.

“Rook, you got a hat trick! Why aren’t you celebrating?” Miles asks as he passes by her to get back to Sevs and Pickles who are guzzling waters like it’s vodka.

She just waves him off, clicking through her email to find the livesterm link her mom had sent her of a service somewhere in the Bay Area that was still doing Kol Nidri. Hopefully.

She bites her lip as she opens the link and gets a black screen flashing across her Ipad.

Fuck.

Not only did she miss fasting for Yom Kippur, she didn’t get to observe any of it. It’s one of the clearest associations she has with her religion, hustling out of the arena once afternoon games ended and heading to the nearest temple to at the very least get to listen to Kol Nidri.

She can’t cry, she just has to tell her mom that they got on the plane too late for her to even listen to the ending of the service. She knows that Quinn went to services for a few hours before morning skate but he was playing in Vancouver. Jack doesn’t know anyone in Philly, she doesn’t feel comfortable explaining what she wants to one of her coaches or even who she’d go to for something like this.

At least she got a hat trick.

But her happiness feels dampened with the guilt of letting herself down. She couldn’t find services, she couldn’t fast, she’s too well known even now to just have wandered around Philly alone to find a temple and walk in, and even now, even after being given all the tools, the screen in front of her is black and silent.

There’s something important she just missed that she can’t explain to anyone because no one on this team is religious at all. It’s incredibly lonely. Coming to the realization that in order to have her dream, something vital to her as person has to be ripped away on the team plane, after scoring three goals for the first time in her career, well it’s not fun.

Letting out a heavy sigh, she pulls out her phone and scrolls past all the texts from basically everyone she knows congratulating her on the game to her text thread with her family.

GC: The Fam! ❤️  
Lukey: Jacky, congrats on the hatty, sis. Love ya  
Dad: Go Jack! did us proud  
Mom: @Quinn how were services? Good luck on the game sweetheart.  
Quinn: thanks! Services were nice. Don’t think I’ll show Jack up tonight but the goal is 3 points  
Me: Defenseman don’t get hat tricks bro, good luck trying  
Me: Mom, fyi I got on the plane and the livestream you sent ended  
Mom: 😭😭😭😭😭  
Me: I’m going to see about going to friday services this week tho  
Mom: good!  
Mom: ❤️💖

She thinks, hopes, that that is the end of that conversation and she can go ahead and watch one of the Good Place episodes she downloaded on her Ipad for this exact purpose. Granted, she’d figured it would for a loss, not her nearly crying over missing Yom Kippur but she needs a smile and the Good Place is almost guaranteed to work. She doesn’t have time for a Mel Brooks movie or a John Mulaney special but the Good Place is the perfect length. She’s about to press play when she sees another text cross her phone.

From Mom:  
I’m here if you want to talk about it. I know how much going to services matters to you and I love that you asked me for a livestream link. Sending you lots of hugs.

From me:  
thanks.

She doesn’t want to talk to her mom right now. Not when she’s propped up against the window in the front of team plane with only a curtain separating her from the coaches and knowing that if she hears her mom’s voice, she will start to cry. And it will be obvious to anyone who glances her way, and people will - this team is nosey as fuck - that the tears are not happy ones.

Her mom doesn’t respond, knowing that she needs her silence and she ups the volume and turns towards the window to wipe away the tears that had started to form. She pretends not to notice the concerned look that Nico gives her and focuses on the tv show in front of her.

They touch down before she really gets out of her head, some voice in the back of her mind reminding her that she needs to be better, that no matter how good she was, whatever justifications she makes, she still didn’t.

Nico squeezes her shoulder as he walks by and Taylor raises an eyebrow at the way she’s not moving.

“You planning on missing the game tomorrow?” she jokes, and Jack can see the way she’s trying to hide something in her eyes, the sort of pain that Jack knows she’s holding in her own heart.

Jack shakes her head, saying with a cheer she doesn’t actually possess, “We’re going to win tomorrow Tay.”

Taylor laughs, “don’t promise me that, please.”

Her request is a little too shaky to be a joke and Jack nods. She’s already feeling vulnerable and she doesn’t have the room to take Taylor’s heart in her hands and try to cuddle it better, even though she wants to.

Taylor pulls her into a hug and it feels so damn good to just be held that Jack forgets that Taylor’s not hers. That they’re teammates before they are friends and they aren’t close enough for Jack to sag in Taylor’s arms. Taylor isn’t Alex, she’s not family or as good is.

But she does, letting her head rest on Taylor’s shoulder, her arms around her waist, breathing in the scent of her. It’s calming, especially when Taylor gently runs her fingers through her hair.

“Jack, are you ok?” she asks quietly, more into Jack’s hair than really to her.

Jack nods into Taylor’s shoulder, pulling back and reminding herself of the feeling that had surrounded her when she’d scored that third goal to muster up a grin.

Taylor just laughs, a soft small thing that Jack feels possessive over hearing but then she turns and heads towards the stairs. It somehow feels like Taylor is always the one leaving and it reminds her that Taylor still doesn’t have a contract. That Taylor could still leave after the end of the season.

God, she wants her to stay.

But she can’t get any sadder tonight, she’s got a game tomorrow. A game against Edmonton.

Heading into the bus, she’s high fived by her teammates that didn’t immediately pass out. It’s been a long 48 hours for everyone, even though the highs and lows have been more extreme for her than most.

Sitting down next to Nico, who immediately wraps an arm around her shoulders, she glances at her phone and sees that among the many texts congratulating her on her hat trick are a couple of texts in the Jewish NHLers chat.

GC: AEPUCK  
Literal mensch: JACK CONGRATS ON THE HATTY  
Luke: just got out of services, wow Hughesy, that grin at the last goal 🔥  
Zuuucks: Jack, when I said kick some butt out on the ice, I didn’t mean show us all up  
Me: I can’t help it Jase  
Qball: it’s true, lil sis is a bamf  
Qball: doing the tribe proud  
Literal Mensch: Q is dropping truth bombs tonight  
Me: hahahahahahaha  
Me: i’m falling asleep on the bus lol  
Literal Mensch: sleep please  
Literal Mensch: Matty would murder me if you weren’t getting sleep  
Me: thank god i didn’t get drafted to leafs, i don’t need more parents  
Luke: 😂

“What’s so funny?” Nico asks. Jack jolts in the seat, not expecting him to be paying attention to her at all.

“Oh just some friends,” she answers vaguely, barely containing her yawn.

“Nice,” Nico murmurs, shifting so she can lean on his shoulder.

“You letting me sleep on you?” she jokes and Nico nods, running his fingers over her arm. She’s grateful she’s wearing the jacket, can feel the goosebumps. Nico can’t though.

“Thanks,” she murmurs, curling into him. She knows he’s going to fall asleep too, he always does. She’s never gotten the courage to draw a dick on his face but that’s mostly because she’s saving it for a cross country trip.

She almost hits Nico’s face when she wakes up nearly 20 minutes later. They’re in front of Taylor’s house and she’s definitely not on the bus.

“Did you carry me to Hallsy’s car?” she asks, rubbing her eyes. Looking a little sheepish, Nico nods.

“It was adorable, I got pictures,” Taylor says, turning off the car and getting out of the front seat.

“Hey rook, I think Hughesy is about to pass out, I’m going to get her to bed but you’re welcome to stay over.”

“Oh thank god,” Nico laughs, letting Jack go as she stumbles into Taylor and Jack is suddenly very glad that she didn’t drink anything on the plane. Her filter’s already gone but she knows enough of what her heart is conjuring up that she needs to keep her mouth shut.

Taylor tosses an arm around her, basically holding her up and leads her carefully up the stairs, where Jack falls face down on the bed.

When she wakes up the next morning, she’d somehow kicked her shoes off and is splayed out to starfish over the entire bed.

Yawning, she glances over at her phone to check the time. She knows from the light streaming in through the windows that it’s at least 7. Apparently, she’s not used to Jersey yet because it’s closer to 8 am than 7 am, which means she has less time than she’d hoped to get awake before morning skate.

She knows that a shower might be the best thing and she drags herself to the bathroom, turning on the water to as hot as it can.

There’s a knock on the door but whatever is said, she can’t hear over the water pounding on her head. The footsteps fading away from her door she can hear though and that makes her think that Nico was the one trying to talk, Taylor’s too fleet of foot for her to hear her coming. Which has definitely lead to some awkward moments.

She sighs, at least she had time to shower, even if it’s not a leisurely one, and turns off the water. She reaches across and grabs the towel, putting her hair in one of those towel twisty things after slightly drying herself off. Considering she’ll shower at the rink after practice, spending the time to blow dry it is the definition of a waste.

Wandering over to her dresser, she grabs a sports bra and a tank top that she quickly throws on. She checks the time, still just in her underwear, and nearly swears. That shower had taken longer than she’d hoped. Tugging on a pair of booty shorts and tossing her sweatshirt over her arm, she heads downstairs.

And nearly trips when she hears Taylor’s laughter brightening up the kitchen and sees Nico’s blinding grin as they drink coffee.

“Hey guys,” she says quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment. Taylor turns to her and raises an eyebrow.

“Hey sleeping beauty, feeling more awake?” she teases as Jack moves to pour herself coffee.

Nodding, Jack laughs, “yeah, the shower helped.”

She finishes making her coffee, adding like 8 spoons of sugar and milk and takes a sip, having to set it down immediately as Taylor starts cracking up, clutching the counter behind her like it will allow her not to fall.

“What’s so funny,” Jack asks, glancing over at Nico and absolutely losing it at the look of disgust on his face.

“Hischier, your fucking face” Jack crows, and Nico makes a noise that she can’t quite decipher, somehow both fond, amused and disgusted at once.

Taylor grins at both of them, trying to hide it behind her coffee mug but it’s too big to hide.

“Americans,” Nico mutters, sounding incredulous.

Jack, in the face of such uncalled for criticism, takes a sip of her coffee and makes what she’s pretty sure is a sex noise after swallowing.

Nico and Taylor both raise eyebrows at her and Taylor smirks, “oh it’s on.”

She proceeds to make a noise after sipping her coffee that makes Jack squirm uncomfortably, pretty sure that the look of pleasure on Taylor’s face is one that will haunt her dreams.

Nico shoots them both an incredibly self satisfied smirk and takes a sip of coffee, moaning as he finishes it.

All three of them start laughing in unison and Jack mentally takes a snapshot of the moment. They’re so damn beautiful, the light from the sun eliminating the shadows, both of them with bed head and grins.

Fuck, it’s everything she wants.

But just as quickly as she realizes she needs to hold on to this image, it fades. Taylor’s phone rings and the frown on her face makes Nico lose his joy. Like even with the sun shining, it’s Taylor that makes him feel warm and Jack is abruptly reminded that she can’t compete with what they have.

“Hey Leon,” Taylor says into the phone, hunching over and turning away from them, facing the wall instead of the island where Jack and Nico are leaning.

“Yeah, I can,” she murmurs, running a hand through her hair.

“I just got to get dressed, I can meet you guys at X Restaurant in like 20 minutes,” she explains, nodding before all color drains from her face at whatever Draistatl says.

“What the fuck, Drai?” She hisses, casting an almost guilty look around the kitchen as she heads back upstairs.

Jack glances at Nico, who’s picking at his nails with a frown on his face.

She doesn’t get answers. None from Nico who tells her to leave it be, that’s just what Taylor’s like when they play the Oilers, and definitely none from Taylor who barely speaks to her even as they’re heading to the rink for the game. It’s such a departure that Jack feels off kilter, like something she didn’t realize she needed was missing and that with everything she’d already been feeling over not even witnessing services the night before means she’s very much not focused.

She gets called out by Coach Hynes who comes up to her during the team game of touch soccer and pulls her aside.

“Hughes, you’re a rookie, even though you’re first overall and you don’t look like your head is fully here. I know yesterday was Yom Kippur,” he trails off, giving her an easy, if true, out. But she doesn’t want an out, doesn’t want to not participate in this game.

“I’m fine Coach, just a late night,” she admits and he looks at her.

“I’m limiting your minutes tonight, Hughes,” he says, continuing on even as she opens her mouth to protest, “I don’t want you to not be here when we need you. The season is a grind and I need you to be aware of yourself.”

He sounds firm and Jack nods. It does her no good to argue even though she wants to. It’s her natural state as a Jew, alright, she needs arguments of a kind to survive. So, she fulfills the need by completing the argument in her head and she’s so lost in it she runs into Taylor. Or maybe it’s that Taylor runs into her.

They both take a second longer than normal to react to bumping heads. Taylor huffing out a small laugh, “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

Jack nods, “Don’t sweat it, babe.

Taylor seems to read right through her because she raises an eyebrow, “You alright?”

Jack smiles, she knows that Taylor has more pressing things to worry about than her, so she shrugs, pretending to be unaffected, “yeah, coach is worried about my focus so he told me he’s cutting my minutes, especially because it’s my first NHL back to back. It’s fine though, I’m surprised it’s only just happened now.”

Which is a fucking lie, she wants to play, in this game in particular. Especially after Taylor pulled away in the morning, after a call from an Oiler. Especially after getting a hat trick last night. She’s proven herself. She single handedly won the game against the Flyers, she should be getting top minutes.

Taylor frowns, and then sighs, “we got home late last night and you scored a hat trick. I know better than you realize how easy it is to burn out your rookie year. I’m just glad you understand instead of throwing a fit.”

“Oh is that what you did?” Jack teases as they make their way to the dressing room.

Taylor rolls her eyes, but there’s a lightness in her face that Jack hasn’t seen since Taylor got the call from Leon, nearly 8 hours ago.

She shakes her head, “I swore in my head but no it was always the guys who threw fits. Nudge threw a particularly epic one when he first got his minutes slashed. However, I remember that part of the reason Segs missed team breakfast is because she was told her minutes were getting cut and she was pretty furious about it.”

“But she wasn’t a rookie then,” Jack murmurs, and Taylor nods.

“Nothing comes easy in the league, Hughes, especially not for us.”

It sounds so much like a conversation she had had with Willy after that draft that Jack startles. A piece of that conversation nudging at her mind, Willy, looking sadder than Jack had ever seen her, saying with a sigh that was so full of longing that Jack almost thought she’d left the hockey rink and walked onto a film set, “there’s life after hockey, don’t let the game ruin that.”

She wonders what Taylor wants when she hangs up her skates and Jack almost asks her that but then Greener pokes his head out of the locker room and yells at them to start getting ready.

Jack isn’t prepared to be in that same locker room nearly three hours later, the locker beside her empty and the space encroaching on her. She’s been in bad losses before but she’s never lost like this. In the final few seconds of overtime, after clawing their way back from down 3-0 going into the third. Taylor had been majestic during that period and then had been on the ice, watching as the Oilers won, as Nugent-Hopkins scored the game winner.

Jack hasn’t seen Taylor since she walked off the ice, she knows the older player is in media and to Jack it feels incredibly cruel. She’d caught sight of Taylor’s face when skating back to the bench as the Oilers mobbed Nugent-Hopkins, and it had been devastation in the way Jack’s only seen in the finals of international tourneys.

And the locker room is silent, the team’s win streak is over and Greener got shoved to the boards early in the game and hasn’t returned. Jack feels cold, feels alone, even though she sees the way Nico is also waiting for Taylor to come back.

It’s not her place to offer comfort and when Miles mutters something about going out and getting completely drunk, Jack finds herself declining. She has her own coping methods for bad losses and they involve chocolate chip cookie dough, a romcom and the mindlessness of following a recipe from scratch. And sometimes a glass of wine but she knows she’ll do something she’ll regret if she gets drunk. It’s what happens.

It’s what happened, again and again, before she went to NDPT, she’d go out and get drunk and say something or kiss someone and get isolated and cast out. They already hated her for being better than them and giving them another excuse to gave them a reason to pick on her.

She knows that it’s unacceptable but she knows what Roope’s getting called on the ice, how Segs got treated in Boston. She doesn’t want to cause it to happen now. So, yeah, she’s not going out.

She shakes her head when Nico looks at her, waving off PK’s quiet offer to drive her home a few minutes later.

Pulling up her hoodie, she steps out of the car and heads into the dark house. She’s never been at the door of somewhere that wasn’t hers to call home without people or without someone inside. The silent darkness reminds her way too much of the locker room she’d left behind at the rink.

Jack flips on the lights immediately, detouring to grab the remote as she heads to the kitchen. She wants to surround herself with something that will get her out of her own head.

Which means that trashy reality TV isn't an option, and neither is the Great British Baking Show, so she scrolls through the Netflix que, finds nothing, and then her prime accounts and spots Good Omens. She saw it a bunch over the summer, between Alex and Quinn and Cole and then her parents all wanting to binge after she’d binged it alone the moment it came out.

And yeah, episode three sounds good right now. She clicks it, grinning as it opens up the Garden of Eden and arranging her baking stuff so she can see the tv screen.

The routine is comfortable, calming and the solitude is something Jack desperately needed. The door slams open just after she’s put the cookie dough balls in the fridge and as episode three is playing the credits.

Taylor storms in, hair wild and eyes red, looking messy in a way that startles Jack.

“Fucking fuck, fuck them, fuck me, what the fuck, shit,” Taylor swears, a litney of curses that causes Jack to drop the bowl she’s washing in the sink with a loud thunk. Taylor’s head jolts up and they just look at each other for a long moment. Jack looks away first, the depth of pain in Taylor’s eyes is unnerving.

“Do you want some cookie dough?” she asks, because it’s the only thing to say. She wants to ask about who made Taylor cry, about why she’s swearing, but it isn’t her place. She’s making cookies and watching tv like this is her home but she’s just been violently reminded that she’s just a guest.

Taylor shakes her head, her smile tiny, nearly invisible, and turns to head upstairs.

Jack wants to make sure she’s ok, but first Jack has to take care of herself. Also, Taylor made it really clear that she didn’t want her to, the spooked look in her eyes at seeing another person and the way she didn’t say a word, well that told Jack enough. The mindlessness of cleaning up and then curling on the couch sounds damn good to her.

It’s over a week later and she’s just stepped out of the airplane to the cold Vancouver air when she glances behind her to see Taylor wrapped up in a Devils hoodie, arguing with PK about something and she realizes that everything changed after the Edmonton game, the easy morning she and Nico and Taylor had had never returned.

It’s a shame and she knows she’s frowning when Nico makes a beeline to her, “hey Hughes, aren’t you seeing your brother today?”

Jack nods, “yeah I’m really excited.”

And it’s not a lie, she’s gone a long time without seeing Quinn before but they’ve always found more time to talk than they have these past few months and even getting an hour of family time is something Jack desperately needs. She’s really proud of him but she misses him more than she expected.

Waiting outside by their bus is her brother, holding up a glittery sign with her name on it and large Devil emoji.

“Quinn!” she shouts, dropping her bags on the ground with a thud and sprinting over to him, hugging him so tight it hurts.

“Hey Jacks,” Quinn murmurs into her hair, setting her down after a long moment.

“You’ve been lighting it up, making all of us look bad,” Quinn jokes, arm still wrapped around her shoulders and she’s laughs, tossing her head back.

“Of course I am, how could you expect anything else?” she asks, smirking at him. There’s footsteps behind them and Jack turns away from Quinn before he can respond.

“Here’s your bag rookie, make sure you’re at the rink on time,” Andy says, smiling softly at them.

Jack nods, “thanks.”

Nico and Taylor wander over and hug her quickly, Jack lingering in their hold for longer than she probably should.

Quinn drives them right to dinner, a fancy Sushi place, right by the Harbour and the Olympic torch. They take a couple sibling pictures they send to the group chat they have with Luke and the general family group chat right before dinner.

Once they’re there, Jack grins, demanding that Quinn order her a cocktail. She needs a drink and Quinn as a year older than her can order alcohol in Vancouver, the lucky bastard.

“So,” Quinn smirks, “you and your fellow first overalls?”

“Bro, no, nothing’s going on,” Jack hisses, thanking god that her drink was getting placed on the table right after.

She drowns a couple sips, watching carefully as Quinn laughs at her.

“So, what’s the gossip on your team?”

“No, I’m not letting this go. Nothing’s happening but you absolutely want there to be. I saw that hug at the airport, all of you fucking lingered, Jacks.”

“They’re in love, with each other. And yes, ok, I want them both. Can we be done now,” Jack exclaims. Even though she’s almost glaring at Quinn who rolls his eyes, it comes out more pleading than she means it to be.

Quinn holds up his hands in surrender, “ok ok, I got it. I just want you to be happy.”

“I know and I love you for it but drop it, seriously,” Jack says, taking another big sip of her cocktail.

“Anyway, what’s up with you and your team, any hot gossip?” she asks, switching the topic before Quinn can pressure her again.

Quinn laughs, “oh you are never going to believe this!”

Jack raises an eyebrow.

“So, you know your big crush on KJ Apa from Riverdale?” Quinn starts, smirking at her. Jack nods, looking at him.

Quinn is waiting until she has a sip of her drink to tell her the news because her brother truly loves to embarrass her.

He looks delighted as he says, “Yeah, so he’s dating Brock. They live together.”

Jack barely manages to not choke on the cocktail. It’s a few seconds before she can speak again and Quinn looks at her in concern.

“The Devils would come after you if I died,” she murmurs, coughing and Quinn throws his head back in delight.

“And you really think this whole first overall thing is going to end up with you alone?” Quinn rolls his eyes at her and Jack can tell that he’s calling her an idiot.

“Wait, so going back. KJ and Brock, what? Are you serious? Wow, that explains a lot,” Jack says, speaking so quickly her words blend together.

Quinn nods, “I know, you made me watch all of Riverdale right before the draft lottery.”

“Hey, it was Auston’s recommendation, take it up with her,” Jack protests. At that their food arrives and conversation dies, like always. Because they are hockey players and Jews, food is always the priority, especially good food like this.

By the time they're done, the conversation has shifted from their teams to Luke and how he’s doing at the program.

Jack is absolutely going to badger her brother about the relationship between his teammate and her celebrity crush but she also knows that that opens her up to him bugging her about Taylor and Nico and yeah, no. She’ll limit herself, even though she desperately wants to know everything.

They go home for a long homestand to end October and Taylor slowly starts getting comfortable around Jack and Nico again, eventually ending off days with all three of them cuddled on the couch, drowsing as their legs are tangled up together and the tv plays softly as background noise.

Jack watches as Nico and Taylor gravitate towards each other, on and off the ice. The way Taylor grins at him, private and fond when she thinks no one is looking. The way Nico curls around her during the goal celebration after they beat the Lightning, a rivalry that they share because of playoffs, moments that Jack missed, like she’s better than scoring. Jack watches and aches, because they so clearly love each other. She’s been playing with Nate and she keeps noticing the way Mikey congratulates her after games, tucking a strand behind her ear and letting Nate sit in his lap during postgame after the media leaves.

Everyone teases them about being married and Mikey keeps grinning, smugly satisfied, smile softening into something fonder as he looks at Nate.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a Bastian, get it right,” Mikey says, throwing his towel in the hamper.

“Oh should we ask the equipment guys to change your name?” PK asks, drying her hair and laughing.

Everyone in the locker room, including Jack, starts laughing as well. But both Nate and Mikey pause, Nate leaning up to kiss him, soft and intimate.

“Oh save it for home,” Sami groans, “lovebirds.”

It’s fond though, they all are when Nate and Mikey get like this.

“Wait, Cap, can we actually change my jersey?” Mikey asks and Jack gasps, poking at Nate who’s next to her.

Nate nods, hair almost hiding her beaming grin at Jack’s unasked question.

“Eventually, sure. Might want to establish yourselves before doing something like that,” PK says quietly. Like she knows what it’s like to want to wear someone else’s name on her back, like she got told not to, like that’s the reason she got traded. And Jack remembers the vague rumors about PK and Price. Maybe those rumors were true.

Nate nods sharply at PK, a look of understanding passing through all the girls in the locker room. They all know that if Mikey takes Nate’s name, even if he’s the one who changes, who declares that he belongs to her, she’ll never be treated the same.

“Babe, PK is right,” Nate murmurs, Mikey smacking a kiss to her cheek in agreement.

It’s a nice moment and Jack shoves down the longing when she lets her eyes sweep around the room, lingering on a shirtless Nico and barely dressed Taylor. She’s been surrounded by untouchable beautiful people for almost her entire life but she’s never had temptation like them.

She ends up borrowing Nate’s sweatshirt during a post practice interview when they’re in Winnipeg and her phone is absolutely blowing up when she checks it at the hotel

GC: Name on the Front 🇱🇷😍❤️🏒

Cole: nice to know we’ve been replaced  
Alex!: didn’t think it’d be Bastian but i see it, get it girlie  
Trevor: @alex! Considering that Bastian has fought for Jack at least 2 times it makes sense  
Trevor: what you think J would really come out wearing a 9 or 13?  
Alex: wouldn’t be surprised  
Cole: ooooh first overall threesome  
Me: Cole, please shut up  
Alex: holy shit  
Trevor: holy crap  
The lesser Knight: YO  
Cole: I FUCKING KNEW IT  
Alex: lol we all know Bastian and Mcloud are married  
Trevor: aren’t T/N dating?

From Alex:  
Wait could i have had a threesome with you and trev  
Because babe  
Yes please

From me:  
NO  
NO  
ABSOLUTELY NOT  
WHY????

From Alex:  
Because you’re wearing Nate’s gear and not denying being into your fellow first overalls  
Couples???

From me:  
Yes fine i want Taylor and Nico but no  
Ex-nay on the threeway

From Alex:  
We’d be so hot

From me:  
You’d never be satisfied by Trevor again and I don’t want to be responsible for that

From Alex:  
Hahahahahahahahahahahah  
😂  
You right  
Can’t break us up

From me:  
I miss you  
FT?

From Alex:  
YEEE

They facetime for nearly two hours, only stopping because Nico knocks on her door and Alex starts making fun of her loudly.

Her phone is still absolutely filled up from texts from people and she’s been ignoring it so if anything from the team came through she definitely missed it.

“Hey Al, I gotta go,” Jack says, standing up to get the door.

“Ohhhh, earn the D,” Alex teases, referencing the Devils’ training camp shirt and making Jack crack up as she hangs up and opens the door within seconds of each other.

“You look happy,” Nico comments, flopping on the edge of her bed, and really, whatever bed he’d sat on would technically be hers, her shit is spread everywhere. Technically, Nate is her road roomie but Nate ends up sharing with Mikey when they’re on the road, and they tend to kick out Jes, who just goes to share with whoever. She’s pretty the Jespers are dating because Bratter always opens his door for the Swede after Mikey kicks him out with a wide grin.

Jack grins, “yeah, talking with Alex.”

“Nice. I see hurricane Hughes came through,” he adds, raising an eyebrow at the bra that’s been flung over the desk chair.

Jack goes bright red, cursing her pale skin in her head as she grabs that and a couple of other things, including, oh god, her vibrator, from the floor and her bed and shoving them in a bag.

“Oh shut up,” she murmurs, running a hand through her hair.

Nico just smirks, “so, you want to grab dinner?”

“Yeah, sounds great, with the team?” she asks, wandering into the bathroom to put on mascara and lipstick.

Nico nods, “yeah, a bunch of us.”

Jack knows she asked if the team was coming, implying that she wanted the team to come, but part of her just wants it to be Nico. Just her and Nico and in her dreams, Taylor. But she can’t say that.

It’s a good night and a good win and then they head straight to Calagry.

When they get there, they head straight to the hotel, Nate not even bothering switching rooms. They both collapsed on the bed, sleeping once their heads hit the pillow.

The next morning, Jack yawns, noticing that no one is in the bed beside her and glancing at her phone to see the time. It’s nearly 9am and she’s shocked that no one woke her up, she has to go get breakfast.

She checks her phone, the light bright with texts and she raises an eyebrow. She didn’t think that anything happened in the past few hours.

There are a few texts from the NDPT group continuing to yell about Jack and her “lust for her fellow first overalls.”

The one that makes her laugh the hardest is Cole’s comment about her being in Calgary and that she’ll get to Auston by getting to Matt. They all knew she’s not exactly experienced so it’s all in jest.

She sends back a string of emojis and sees that her group chat with Jack and Auston has been very active over the past hour or so.

It’s not worth a backread and her phone brightens with another text.

GC: I deserve everything – M.Rapinoe 🍾

EA Cover Matts: @me, say hi to Matt for me  
Me: by showing him up?  
EA Cover Matts: EXACTLY  
Name Twin: please shove Noah into the boards as my hello  
Me: 👍  
Name Twin: also J, are you trying to send all of the canadians after you?  
Me: noo why?  
EA Cover Matts: yeah bud, people are pissed about you wearing Nate’s sweater because apparently Canadians don’t understand friends  
Name Twin: or threesomes  
Me: NOTHING IS HAPPENING, IT WAS JUST THERE  
EA Cover Matts: oh this is going to be your shattered glass moment  
EA Cover Matts: sorry, hugs  
Me: wait back up, what do you mean Canadians don’t understand threesomes?

Jack wants to know if the comment is just based on their own experience or with every Canadian in the league. If she has a chance to get what she wants.

Name Twin: oh god Jack, please tell me your not  
Me: not what????  
EA Cover Matts: crushing on your teammates  
Me: it’s worked for everyone else, why not me?

The text comes out without her brain realizing it until her phone rings and it’s Jack.

“Ok, babe, I’m going to tell you this once. If you compare yourself to other people you’ll screw yourself out of happiness. Matt and Aus have been together since they were like prepubescent and Noah and I only got together last year. If I’d spent time caring about what they were, I never would have kissed him.”

Jack groans, “Eichs, I don’t need this.”

“What you text when you’re half-awake is what you’re thinking in the back of your brain all the time,” Eichs responds, soft and slow.

“Oh so if I were to swipe Noah’s phone, I’d see texts saying that you love him every single morning,” she teases, laughter clear in her voice.

“Not every morning,” Eichs protests, before sounding distracted, “speaking of he’s calling me. I hope you lose tonight.”

“What about the name twin code?” Jack yells in outrage, to Eichs’s cackle loud in her ears as the phone call ends.

To Name Twin:  
Fucker

From Name Twin:  
ILY ❤️❤️

Jack rolls her eyes at her phone, dropping it on the pillow, burying her head into the pillow for a long moment before wandering over to the shower.

They win in overtime at least and it’s immediately on the plane to Edmonton. The plane ride is short but very tense, not celebratory the way the team normally is after wins.

Jack hasn’t been to Edmonton before. But she’s heard the way people talk about it. It’s colder than she expected, the wind whipping at her hair as she heads to the bus and she notices the wide berth everyone seems to give Taylor with a frown. She settles next to Nico, as has been habit since that game in Philly and nudges him until he lets her sleep on his shoulder. The last thing she sees before dozing off is Taylor’s eyes caught on where Nico’s hand is resting on her thigh. But she’s pretty sure she imagined it when she wakes up, both Taylor’s stare and Nico’s hand placement because it seems like the thing she’s compelled to reality before going to sleep.

It’s the next morning when she walks into the locker room that she feels the stabbing pain everyone says is uniquely Edmonton inspired. Because Taylor, who asked to have Jack seated next to her, who has been a constant always in her time in the league, is sitting in a corner, next to Cees and the wall.

Fuck.

Jack feels angry but she buries it. PK nudges her, asking “Ready for this rookie?”

“For practice fuck yeah,” she answers. It’s just Edmonton, how is it different from anywhere else they’ve been in the league.

Turns out, she was wrong because she skates out onto the ice and one of the first things she sees is a man sitting by the glass, in a blue and orange Hall jersey.

Taylor isn’t theirs anymore, she doesn’t wear those colors, doesn’t wear that number.

Jack wants to scream.

She settles for shooting a couple of pucks on net as the rest of the team gets on the ice. A slapper hits the net with a bang and Greener skates over to her, “yo, you ok?”

She nods, firing one last puck, smiling with satisfaction as it goes top shelf, before skating back to the rest of the team.

Nico looks tense, lips bitten raw and fuck, she shouldn’t be noticing that. It’s hockey, not time for her heart to rise over everything else. She slams into him, though, making him grin down at her and there, that’s better.

It doesn’t last long, Coach’s practices are always hard, even on game days and when they walk back to the locker room, there’s a cluster of Hall adorned fans, in both Devils red and Edmonton orange and Taylor takes the time to chat with both sets.

Jack sees the way it weighs on her, the expectation and she thinks about the possibility of ever being forced out of Jersey, ever having to don new colors when it wasn’t her choice. The mere thought is terrifying. Jack can’t even imagine what the experience was actually like.

She takes her time, waiting for Taylor to come back to the locker room, and she raises her eyebrow at the quickness with which Nico leaves.

“Hey Hughes, you coming back?” he asks, brow furrowed as he notices that she hasn’t even gotten her pads off.

“Waiting for Taylor,” Jack murmurs, noticing the way he frowns.

“What Nico?” she demands, taking off her practice jersey.

“Just,” he sighs, “never mind.”

“Seriously, what?”

Jack’s frustrated now, confusion bubbling over in the way she snaps at Nico. Taylor walks in, eyes slightly red and body shaking and her lips flatten into a frown when she sees Nico and Jack.

“What the fuck are you guys still doing here? I don’t need-” Taylor starts, voice hollow and Jack focuses on finishing getting dressed with speed she’d forgotten she’d possessed. She hides the lump in her throat, the yearning to touch Taylor but she knows it’s a bad idea. Especially at the way Nico snarls something in Swiss-German as he storms out, not even looking at them.

Taylor turns away, body shaking as she gets out of her clothes and Jack flees, running away from Taylor, who needs someone but has decided that Jack isn’t good enough, running towards Nico, who’s been looking brittle and fragile ever since they landed.

“Nico, wait,” she calls, shrugging her hoodie over her head as she races to catch up to him.

Nico turns around and Jack immediately pulls him into a hug, not thinking about the Edmonton media, about the fact that this isn’t the right time.

“Are you ok?” she asks, mouth pressed against his shoulder more than anything and he nods, offering her a tight smile and pulling away far too soon.

“I just need to nap, I couldn’t sleep on the plane,” Nico explains, stepping back so he’s barely touching her and Jack hides the flinch that she feels in her bones.

There’s typical exhaustain and then there’s whatever is going on with Nico and the idea that he’s lying, that stings. He’s never lied to her before.

Not even when she’d asked about what he missed from home when they’d gone to a hole in a wall burger place between practice and a game, Nico showing her New Jersey without the cameras on them. It had felt like a date, sharing a plate of fries and laughing at the way that Nico had gotten sauce all over his face.

That guy feels so far away right now, feels like someone Jack made up and she refuses to lose them both. She’s losing Taylor to the past right now and she refuses to lose Nico to the cold.

She shoves down her own hurt, shoves down her longing and keeps her hands wrapped around Nico’s arms.

She’s here, and if it takes ages, she’ll still be here for him to tell the truth.

“Come on, let’s go to the hotel,” she says quietly, and Nico looks at her, eyes darting to her lips with a quickness that startles her.

“I thought you were waiting for Taylor?” he challenges, shoulders and voice tense.

Jack shakes her head, barely able to keep the agony out of her voice, “She doesn’t want me and I don’t want to pressure her.”

Nico sighs, “At least we’re in Edmonton early,”

Jack raises an eyebrow but he doesn’t say anything more.

And well, she doesn’t want to pressure him either so she stays quiet, stays by his side until they get back to the hotel. It’s weird to have any time with Nico where they aren’t talking. She hates it and for a moment she blames Taylor. But that’s stupid and unfair and she shoves that part of her brain deep, somewhere near where her desire lies.

Nico squeezes her arm before leaving her standing in the lobby, disappearing quick. She shudders, hugging herself in her hoodie, which, shit, now she understands why it feels big as she looks down and gasps at the 9 on her chest. It’s Taylor’s, the one she’d thrown somewhere when she’d gotten to the locker room before practice, like clothes were constricting and she was already close to suffocating.

She should give it back, not make a big deal out of it and she doesn’t want to seek Taylor out, not now, not when being here clearly reminds the older woman of everything that had been ripped away, everything she’d had when she was Jack’s age.

She scrolls up the team group chat, past the dinner plans and chirping to the list of hotel rooms and finds Taylor’s room number, she stops at her room and grabs her own jacket before carefully folding Taylor’s hoodie and putting it right at the edge of the door.

PK opens the door as she turns around, “Hey Hughesy, Hallsy’s not back yet,”

“Yeah, I know,” Jack says and PK raises an eyebrow, “Edmonton getting to you kid?”

Jack doesn’t answer, just saying, “Gonna go nap.”

PK grins, “Sleep well.”

Jack nods, walking back to her room and falling face down on the bed. She groans, trying to fall asleep but ending up staring at the ceiling, curled in the comforter. She hates this, hates that she’s so stressed that she can’t sleep. She shuts her eyes, tries to relax but over an hour in she puts on her headphones and just listens to the music calm her down.

She gets ready, pulling on her black suit with red accents that she’s saved for this game in particular. She’d heard so much about how Edmonton sucks the color out of everything that isn’t orange and blue. And she needs her red, needs the color of the team that chose her, that’s already her home. She rummunages through her bag, coming across the Devil horns that somehow got added to her stuff and puts them on.

Walking to the bathroom, she does her makeup and then takes a photo and posts it on her insta story with the devil emoji and a fire emoji.

She puts her phone away, leaves the horns on the desk and heads downstairs for the team bus. Nate immediately grins, tugging her into a side hug and saying, “Saw your insta story, you showing off where you belong eh Jack?”

Jack nods, refraining from pressing a kiss to Nate’s cheek, she’s got her red lipstick on and that would definitely leave a mark and she doesn’t need any more rumours.

PK slaps her ass as they’re walking to the bus, shouting, “Get in the mix, Hughesy.”

“Let’s fucking go baby,” Jack shouts back, a smile she finally doesn’t have to fake on her face. Though it falls when she sees Nico sitting against the window, curled away from everyone else, stony expression on his face. And it shifts completely into a frown when she doesn’t see Taylor at all.

“Where’s Hallsy?” Goose asks, loud from behind her and Palms sighs.

“We’ll meet Taylor at the rink kids, come on.”

“But she’s team, our team,” Nikita murmurs, confusion obvious and Jack can feel herself nodding.

PK glances sharply at both of them, “What Taylor does is her business, especially here.”

“Let’s just get a win,” Nico says, and Jack can hear what he’s not saying aloud, can see it in his eyes, the way he just leaves off the “for her.”

Nico doesn’t notice her slipping beside him, her leg resting against his. Nico always notices and she frowns, putting on her headphones and getting ready for the game.

They pull up to the arena, a nervous energy buzzing under Jack’s skin. She hides a yawn behind a cough and she spots Taylor, in a black suit, utterly lacking the color she’s used to seeing. She’s not wearing a camisole though, just the pants and the jacket, daring and beautiful and dangerous at the same time. Jack hears Nico swear quietly behind her, both of them drawn to Taylor like a moth is to flame, ready and willing to be burned alive if only to feel the warmth for a moment.

Jack swallows heavily, throat dry and hands clammy.

“Damn Taylor, you and Jack both showing up tonight,” Sami yells, walking in the arena with a swagger that Jack wishes she had. Taylor laughs, winking over at Jack, though her eyes widen when she actually sees what Jack is wearing.

Jack doesn’t normally wear suits, she loves dresses, loves the way they feel feminine, the way she feels powerful but this is Edmonton. Her normal armour wouldn’t protect her here, she needs an extra layer, needs that reminder that Taylor’s hers, well theirs, that Taylor’s coming back to Jersey, at least on this flight.

“You do look really good,” Taylor murmurs, voice low and Jack grins.

Nico comes up behind them and grins, “We gonna show this team what we can do?”

“Hell yes!” Jack shouts, drawing looks but she doesn’t care. Taylor nods, grin blinding and Jack savors it before Jes wanders over, tossing an arm around Nico’s shoulders and leading him away.

If Jack had known what would happen during the game, she wouldn’t have let Jes steal Nico away.

It doesn’t take long for the game to go to shit. Everyone’s on edge and they’re overplaying the puck, getting too fancy in their own end and they head to the second period down a pair of goals. It’s no Sharks/Knights rivalry but there’s a revolving door in the penalty box and Jack absolutely has bruises from how much she’s getting hit. People keeping taunting her, keep taunting them all but especially Taylor and she sees the way that Taylor is growing smaller, less bright and majestic and it makes her rage.

The rage is still burning as someone shoves her to the boards and whispers, “Stay down, it’s where you belong.”

She shakes it off, trying to figure out who it was but they’ve already gone to the Oilers bench.

She’s still on the ice as the first line is changing, and Nico had stopped an icing and is digging the puck out of the corner when she sees him go into the boards. It’s Nugent Hopkins, the guy who won the last game they had played, who ripped Taylor’s heart out. He’s just run Nico into the ice, a cross check into his back for good measure.

That’s not okay.

He’s not allowed to hurt both of the people she loves. Fuck, she does. Now isn’t the damn time to figure that out. She ignores it, shoving it down with a viciousness that makes anger bloom in her chest.

And Jack’s breath feels frozen as Nico slowly skates off, mouth twisted in pain. She doesn’t realize she’s moving until she feels cold air over her hands and her mouth is snarling curse words at Nugent Hopkins.

“You? You’re going to fight me?” Nugent Hopkins demands, laughing as though her defending Nico is funny, as though every female NHL hopeful hasn’t learned how to box from the best. She’s shaking, rage blinding her to the way her teammates try to intervene.

“Yeah, asshole, drop your fucking gloves,” Jack hisses, shoving at him, “or are you scared you’ll lose to a girl?”

Nugent Hopkins grins and Jack realizes just how much bigger than her he is.

“Fine,” he sighs and Jack throws the first punch. It connects and Nugent Hopkins stumbles back on his skates. He recovers quickly and is wrestling her to the ground. One of his hits got her in the teeth, not enough to knock one out but she’s spitting blood, looking savage and wild, helmet off and hair curling everywhere. Even though she puts up a fight, it’s a quick scrap, one that Jack loses. The refs separate them and send her to the dressing room, barely a minute left in the period. As she skates off the ice, the crowd cheering Nugent Hopkins, her eyes find Nico’s and Taylor’s. Taylor is bristling on the bench, Simmer’s hand wrapped around her forearm, like he was trying to keep Taylor off the ice.

Jack storms into the locker room, a trainer pulling her into the medical room to get checked out as the game continues and Taylor and Nico both pile shots that just barely miss on the Edmonton net. Nothing goes in though and the team comes back, looking drained but pumped up. Like Jack had energized the team.

But then Taylor and Nico walk in, faces tight and Jack inhales sharply, moving to get off the trainer’s table.

“Hey, no, do not move Jack, please,” Nico says, walking over to her.

“Fuck, Jack, you didn’t have to do that,” Taylor hisses.

“I’m fine,” Jack says, though something inside her is warm at their worry. They care, maybe not the way she does for them but they at least feel something.

“Is she really ok?” Nico asks, turning to Hannah, their trainer who nods, “Yeah, she’s fine, just some bruising. Nothing that will keep her out of the rest of the game.”

Nico sighs heavily, relief obvious and he turns to Jack. She grins at him, “Come on, I thought people love fighting,”

“I’m not fucking worth it,” Nico glares and Jack, fuck, all she wants to do is kiss him. Even though he’s furious with her.

“Yes, you are. Besides, they’ve been taking liberties with us all night,” Jack protests and Nate nods, yelling from the locker room, “she’s got a point.”

She wanders in, checking on the wrapping of Jack’s knuckles and Jack pretends not to notice the way both Taylor and Nico tense, figuring they’re just pissed from the fight.

“Besides, I was seconds away from fighting when Jack threw down,” she adds, Jack raising an eyebrow at the way no one reacts to that.

Nate pats Jack on the shoulder, “You’re good Hughes, get out there and do what you do best eh? Leave the fighting to me.”

Jack pouts at her, swinging her legs off the table and heading back to the locker room. But Taylor and Nico are still by the door, arms folded and frowns in place.

“Jack,” Taylor starts, in just a bra and hockey pants and Jack rolls her eyes so she doesn’t stare in awe, as Taylor continues, “this team can’t lose you. Please don’t do that again.”

Jack sighs, flexing her hand and thinking before she responds, “I’m not promising I won’t, I won’t stand by as people hurt you guys.”

There’s too long of a pause between those final two words and Jack waits for them to comment, but they don’t. All Taylor does is ruffle her hair.

Nico doesn’t touch her, doesn’t speak, tension rolling under his skin, eyes drawn and Jack feels sick that she made him look like that.

Jack shakes her head. More at herself than anyone and walks back into the locker room, PK and Nate both fist bumping her, grinning.

The next period is a blur, Jack scores on a beautiful pass from Bratter but two minutes later, the dying moments of the third, Connor does that thing he does and beats everyone, including Nico who’s back-checking like a maniac, and scores. Another first overall in Edmonton colors beats them.

Jack’s on the bench, again. She’s not sure where to look because the Oilers happiness makes her angry and the pain in Taylor and Nico’s eyes make her ache. So she settles for looking straight ahead, paying attention to where she’s going and finishing media as quickly as she can. She knows she’s short, letting some of her emotions show, as she snaps, “We’re better than they are and it’s only because of McDavid that they beat us tonight.”

PR shuts the interview done after that, sending her to the showers with anger curling in her skin. She scored, she fought, and all she has to show for it is a loss, on the scoresheet, in the eyes of her team, in the eyes of Taylor and Nico.

She trudges to the bus, noticing somewhere that Nico and Taylor also seem desperate to get out of the bus that’s trapping them with a team who doesn’t seem to share their devastation.

She can’t help them and she feels helpless, hopeless and for the first time in a very long time, desperately alone.

She knows her phone’s blowing up, knows that if she would check she’d probably get a laugh but right now she wants to wallow in the tidal wave that’s drowning her.

It’s not great and she heads straight to her room, stripping off her suit, the burning look in Nico and Taylor’s eyes seeming like it had happened eons ago, instead of just a few hours. She tries to sleep but after tossing and turning for a few hours, she gives up.

Tugging on a hoodie, shoes and leggings, she tucks her phone, airpods and keycard in her pocket and walks out, wandering the halls until she enters the elevator and sees a button that will take her to the rooftop area. She frowns, pulling out her phone and seeing the bright light spelling out just how early it is. She’s not sleeping anyway, might as well wake herself up. She clicks the button and heads up, putting her airpods in and clicking shuffle on her music. Needing something that’s not just her own thoughts, Jack grins as an old Fall Out Boy hit blasts through her phone.

Singing as she exits the elevator, she raises an eyebrow as she spots a hooded figure sitting on one of the tables. The person lifts their hood and she’d know that face anywhere. It’s Nico, eyes red rimmed and exhaustion obvious.

Nico looks frustrated and she waves at him, offering a sad smile as she says, “I won’t bother you, just couldn’t sleep.”

Nico groans, tapping his hands loudly on the metal table and Jack immediately feels even worse and she’s sleep deprived and emotional and 65% sure she’s getting her period and her resolve to be kind is dead in the water at the way Nico is acting.

“What the fuck is it?” She snaps at him, hands clenched in a fist in her pocket.

Nico glares, “You really want to know?”

Jack nods, rubbing at her thighs with harshness that makes Nico frown at her.

Nico gets up from the table, hoodie falling back and running his hand through his hair. Jack bites her lip, cursing how attractive Nico is and how easily she notices it.

“Fine,” he groans quietly, hands twisting around and he turns away from her, “I’m jealous, you come in and it doesn’t matter that I’m having my best season ever, doesn’t matter that the team was good before you, you get everything.”

He pauses, inhaling sharply, saying so quietly that Jack’s grateful for the wind, blowing the words towards her, “You get Taylor.”

Jack laughs bitterly, “No I don’t, but go on.”

Nico shakes his head at her, “I am not doing enough,” he curses in Swiss-German, the words blurring together but she’s pretty sure it’s swearing, “I am not enough”

“I can’t convince you that you are but I don’t just fight for just anyone,” Jack says quietly, stepping over to him. She’s so close to him she can see the tears in his long eyelashes, so close she can hear his heartbeat.

It’s close enough to kiss him.

But neither of them move, neither of them reach out to touch the other, and just like that, the moment passes. Jack refuses to turn away until he does, refuses to let his demons win the battle for his mind.

He keeps looking at her, like she’s something his mind conjured up and she wants to touch him, to jolt him out of whatever is making him look like that.

The loud sigh he lets out makes her relax just a little, but she’s still tense as he opens his mouth, voice choking on a sob, “I fucking hate this city.”

Jack laughs, strained but it’s still a laugh, “Me too.”

Nico smiles at her, it’s small but despite how cold it is, Jack feels warmth bloom in her chest.

She wants to make sure they’re good but she doesn’t want to send Nico spiralling so she reaches out and squeezes his hand, stepping back and heading back inside.

She’s at the door when she hears her name. Turning around, she sees Nico looking at her, the darkness and the wind making it hard to view his features clearly, as he says, “That was a really good fight. Thanks.”

Jack swallows, the lump in her throat making it hard to do so, as she responds before her head can tell her no, “Always. Goodnight Hischier.”

“Sweet dreams schatzli,” Nico says, voice soft and quiet, calling her a term she’s never heard him use before. Except, wait, that night with Taylor when they’d been out at the bar after Taylor had taken over the game. He’d called Taylor that.

Jack’s glad she’s facing the door, so Nico can’t see how much she’s grinning. It’s funny, how much better one word can make her feel. She heads back to bed, burrowing herself under the covers and trying to forget about how much she wants.

The wanting doesn’t go away. She plays the games, earn more minutes, scores some goals and tries not to spend all her time shut away in her room, avoiding the constant image of Taylor in pajamas, Nico over nearly every day off. She watches movies with them and then rushes up to jerk off or take a cold shower, all that bare skin, close enough to touch. It’s overwhelming.

They have two days off towards the end of November when she gets a text from Willy. And yeah, her and Willy talk but they’re aren’t best friends. Which is why she nearly drops her phone at that photo the blonde sends her.

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
????????????

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Omg shit  
Sorry  
Didn’t mean to send that to u

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
IS THERE A GUY???  
WILLY  
!!!!!!

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Not really  
☹️

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Come on, give me details  
Everyone i know is happy  
I’m the only one pining

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
No babe, you are not the only one

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Was that photo for him?  
Because, HOW has he not kissed you yet????  
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
We did

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
And……….  
Also WHEN???

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
During my holdout  
You remember what i said after you got drafted

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Yeah  
That was about him?  
Willy babe  
*hugs*

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Enough about my romantic problems  
Who tf are you pining for?

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
No one i can have

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Bet you have a better chance than I do

Even from here, an entire country away, she can hear the bitter tone in Willy’s text, the near agonized longing so obvious, it nearly makes her cry. Jack doesn’t know who the older girl is talking about but she wants to fight them.

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
I will fight him

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
I saw your fight against the oilers Jacko, i don’t think you’d win  
But ilysm  
I gotta go  
We’ll talk later  
I’m going to go play NHL’20 with the team, we’re having a bonding night

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Have fun

She stows her phone in her hoodie and turns on the game that’s on NHL.TV, she might as well watch her brother play hockey. Especially because the Canucks have been the most entertaining team in the league and her brother is a big part of that.

When she wakes up, she’s covered with a blanket that was previously on the other end of the couch, the TV volume turned low but still on, highlights from the early game playing. She glances around the room but no one else is there and she sighs, burrowing deeper into the blanket.

Most off days Nico is over but there’s no sign of him, nor of Taylor so Jack flips to the CW and starts watching the new season of the Flash. She hasn’t seen this show in years but it’s entertaining enough. It’s no Star Wars but it’s better than anything else that’s on.

It’s nice to be alone, to just rest at home. Because she doesn’t know it it’s Jersey or just Taylor’s house but it’s starting like a place where she sees herself forever. A place where she wants to win in and later, live in.

When they play Dallas about a week later, she’s reminded that what she wants isn’t always reality. Just because she’s first overall doesn’t mean she can bend the space time continuum to her will.

She’s making her pre-game sandwich when she’s viciously reminded of that fact. Her peaceful moment with Taylor in the kitchen is suddenly in the middle of a tornado. Because Tyler Seguin strides downstairs, walking through the house like she owns it, jumps on Taylor and kisses her cheek with a familiarity that makes the green monster rise in Jack’s chest.

“Oh hey rookie,” Tyler says, grinning from where she’s wrapped in Taylor’s arms.

“Hey Tyler, nice to meet you,” Jack smiles, lips turning up in a way that makes her face hurt. She’s trying to hide the bitterness, but when the fuck did Tyler get here? She has a perfectly good bed in the hotel. Honestly, why is she here? Acting like Taylor’s hers. When, no.

“Did you not tell her I was coming, Hallsy, babe,” Tyler chides, grabbing a yellow gatorade, the kind that Jack had thought Taylor had gotten for her, from the fridge with a smirk.

“Slipped my mind,” Taylor admits, turning to Jack for the first time since a sleep tousled Tyler Seguin walked into their kitchen in just a sports bra and shorts, “yeah, Segs and I always nap at each other’s places when we play. It’s been a thing since our first year in the league. At this point, it’s almost a superstition.”

Seguin laughs, head thrown back and Jack can see all of the older girl’s tattoos. It’s a little distracting but the way Taylor smiles makes Jack remember what exactly Seguin is intruding on.

“I’m going to head to the rink,” she says quietly, hiding her shaking hands as she grabs her sandwich and a plastic bag from one of the drawers.

Taylor raises an eyebrow, “Everything ok?”

Jack nods, “Yeah, I just want to get a massage, I’m feeling a little tense.”

She’s blatantly lying and she feels like it’s obvious but Taylor just grins at her and Seguin is the one who speaks,

“You want to be ready to crush me on the ice, eh Hughes?”

“Crush your team, more like,” Jack teases, exchanging a grin with Taylor that settles something inside her. One person, even a beautiful woman that shares a past, doesn’t mean that Jack means nothing.

“Yeah, you’re right” Taylor murmurs, confident and sure, reaching out to fist bump Jack as she heads upstairs to quickly get ready, pulling on the first dress she sees. When she goes to do a little makeup in the bathroom, she realizes that this is one of her more sensual dresses, one that Alex had made her buy when she’d driven up to Wisconsin to go see her and Cole play a few weeks ago. It’s a tight black dress, the open back showing the red halter bra, and it ends at her thighs, shorter than anything she’s worn before.

But right now she doesn’t feel like being careful, doesn’t feel like playing by the rules. She wants to see Taylor’s jaw drop, wants to have her instagram filled up with people begging to treat her right. Not that she’ll do anything but she wants that rush that the attention brings her.

She needs to grab whatever power she can and hold it tight because Tyler Seguin is a hurricane on skates and she already has all of Taylor’s attention.

Striding down the stairs, her heels making loud sounds on the wood, she grins as she sees both Tyler and Taylor raises their eyes to her, Taylor’s jaw dropping.

“Wow, you look good,” Seguin compliments and Jack smiles. It’s not her purely happy grin, she knows that there’s something tight about it, though it relaxes completely as Taylor makes a soft sound, familiar as it’s one that Jack had made countless times around both Taylor and Nico.

“You really do. Is that a new dress?” Taylor asks, hand clenching around her water bottle in a way that makes a satisfied feeling run down Jack’s spine.

“Yep, got it with Alex a few weeks ago,” Jack answers, smoothing down the skirt and swaying her ass as she walks out the door.

Taylor’s making her jealous, might as well remind her what she could have. If she let herself, that is.

Jack gets to arena really early, like really early, like so early that Jessica, the girl who takes the photos of them walking in, is not close to set up and tells her to stop for a few minutes so she can get a photo photo because apparently she, “looks so fucking good, holy shit Jack, the internet is going to die.”

That brightens her up a little and she does a few poses, smirking for the camera as she walks towards the locker room. Jessica gives her thumbs up and lets her go.

She fumbles with her phone as she gets her music on, it’s so quiet in the room. Heading directly to the change area, she hangs up her dress and changes into her work out gear to go get a run in.

When she walks in, she’s surprised to see that she’s not alone. She was so sure that she’d be the only one that she hadn’t put on her headphones, just let the music blast on her phone. And sitting on the bike, blonde hair artly falling in her face where it’s piled on her head like she’s in a photoshoot, in a sports bra and shorts, is Roope Hintz.

“Hey,” Jack calls out, pausing her music and shoving her phone in the pocket of her leggings. She’s standing in front of the bike as Roope looks up, face shifting into a grin.

“Jack! Hi!” Roope says, stopping the bike and pulling Jack into a hug, “what are you doing here so early.”

Laughing as she grips Roope hard, Jack raises an eyebrow, “I could ask you the same thing.”

Roope shrugs, brushing a strand of hair out of her face, “I hit a cold streak.”

Jack nods, they don’t text every day but they’re close enough that she pays attention to the Stars. Between her and Taylor, if they’re both at home on off days and their opponent has already played, they’ll flip on the Stars games and root for their girls. She knows that Roope hasn’t gotten a point in over a week and that after starting the year so hot, there’s been some pretty bad criticism.

“Well I won’t bug you,” Jack smiles, heading over to the treadmill and mentally thanking god that she’d grabbed her headphones just in case.

“Wait, Jack, are you ok?” Roope asks, slowly peddling the bike but not working up a sweat yet. The blonde looks concerned and Jack laughs sharply.

“My game is fine, Hintz,” she says quietly.

Roope looks at her knowingly, a pain in her eyes that the Star quickly hides, “But your relationships?” she asks.

“I don’t want to talk about my relationships,” Jack snaps, “I didn’t ask you about yours.”

Jack instantly feels bad and frowns at herself, “Sorry, that wasn’t,” she trails off.

Roope shakes her head, “No, you’re right. Let’s just finish this. I’ll see you on the ice, Hughes.”

“Good luck tonight,” Jack grins, putting in her headphones and working up a bit of sweat, trying to forget the way Taylor acted around Seguin, the familiarity, the casual touching that Jack still hasn’t seemed to earn.

Jack heads back to her locker room about twenty minutes after Roope leaves and she feels game-ready and determined.

The game is fierce and Jack notices with a raised eyebrow at the way both Taylor and PK both seem to be crushing both Roope and Benn into the boards with a higher level of viciousness than normal. She has a game to play, she can’t worry about something that doesn’t affect her ice.

Even though Jack gets the game tying goal in the dying seconds of the third, Roope scores the overtime winner on a beautiful pass from Jamie Benn. Jack’s delighted, happy for her friend and glad they managed a point but Taylor is watching Dallas pour onto the ice with a frown.

“Hallsy, we can’t win them all,” Nico murmurs as they head back to the locker room.

Taylor runs a hand through her hair, aggravated about something that Jack is pretty sure isn’t related to the final score, “I know, ok.”

“Come on, a goal like that deserves drinks,” Greener says, slapping Jack on the back with a grin.

“Oh, we better be going dancing,” PK shouts, throwing her jersey in the laundry hamper and everyone else starts cheering.

Taylor glances at her phone before saying with the commanding tone that made her worthy of the A on her chest, “Alright, everyone, let’s meet at QXT.”

Jack grins as she realizes that she doesn’t have to head home, she can just change back into the dress and get someone to buy her a drink before the team gets there.

Wandering into the shower, she hears whispering and sees PK and Taylor talking in low tones and the only real phrase she manages to catch is PK saying to Taylor, “you’re going to take care of her, right?”

Taylor nods and Jack decides she’s better off not knowing. She finishes in the shower and changes into a bra and undies in the women’s section of the locker room and wandering back into the bathroom to do just a little makeup, the basics with a cat eye and red eyeshadow. She grins, blowing a kiss to her reflection that makes Nate nearly fall to the floor laughing.

“Alright, I’ll see you guys at the bar,” Jack says, after changing into her dress, running her fingers through her hair and walking through the main locker room to quite a lot of wolf whistles.

“Damn J, you got a date we don’t know about?” Pickles demands and Jack laughs, shaking her head.

“Nope, no date. Just felt like showing you all how to properly dress,” she teases, pretending not to notice how Nico is looking at her. Like he wants to claim her, devour her entirely and never let her go.

She shrugs, walking out of the arena and getting an uber to the bar. Walking in, she turns a lot of heads and strides up to the bar, waiting for the bartender. A girl sitting on the chair a few seats away, raises a fruity looking drink in her direction.

“Why don’t you have people begging to buy you a drink?” the gorgeous brunette calls out and Jack throws her head back in laughter.

“You gonna buy one?” she teases, not expecting the girl to grin, getting the bartender’s attention and ordering another one of whatever the cocktail is.

“Here you go,” she says, sliding the drink down the counter, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Jack,” Jack smiles, nodding in thanks.

The girl beams, “Oh hey! That’s my name too. I bet we don’t spell it the same way though. I spell it with just a C.”

“CK,” Jack says, “nice to meet you, you waiting for friends?”

“Yeah, they should be here in a bit, I figured I’d just start early.”

“Ditto!” Jack exclaims, laughing as the drink sloshes around as she raises it in a toast.

Jac laughs, clicking their drinks together and nodding towards the door, “My friends just got here but it was nice to meet you. Enjoy the drink, it’s on me.”

“Oh no I can,” Jack splutters, before frowning to herself.

“I’ve snuck into my fair share of bars, consider it a favor,” Jac shakes her head, grinning.

Jack smiles, the drink tastes good and the lack of recogninization, for once just being one of the girls instead of a hockey player, is even better. She’s just finished the drink about forty minutes later when the rest of the team walks in.

PK is immediately sliding up to her, ordering some drinks and smirking, “You good Hughesy?”

“A little tipsy but fine,” Jack answers, twirling the umbrella thingy in the empty glass.

“Oh then you can help me carry these back to the team,” PK says and Jack pouts at her. She knows what that means, it means Jack alone carrying a tray back to the team. It’s their form of hazing, they don’t make her order the drinks, they do, however, make her carry them.

“Alright,” she sighs, grabbing the full tray of drinks when it’s put in front of them. There’s a couple of water bottles and a few cocktails but it’s mostly beer. Taylor always orders wine and there’s a glaring lack of wine glasses on the tray but she doesn’t ask, doesn’t want to reveal just how closely she pays attention.

It’s nearly an hour later when nearly all of the Stars walk in. Jack is sadly almost completely sober but unable to hide her frown when Taylor gets up, her side suddenly cold with the absence of Taylor’s arm slung around her, and makes a beeline towards Seguin.

Seguin beams, tugging Jack’s housemate close and laughing loudly as Taylor says something. Jack swallows the water in front of her, trying to soothe the sudden burning.

She’s blocked from watching any more of Taylor being comfortable in a bar with someone that’s not team by both Lindsey and PK coming up to the table, grabbing Nate who has been very sad about Mikey being out with an injury and pulling her onto the dance floor.

She laughs, spending the next half hour watching her teammates makes fools of themselves.

Eventually she’s the only one in the booth, and that’s when Roope slides in next to her, handing her a few shots.

“Roope what?” Jack asks, she’s not going to say no but at this point she’s sober again.

“That was a fucking gorgeous goal babe, shots for good goals” Roope shouts, clearly already tispy and Jack grins, clicking their shots together and drowning them. Roope glares at something on the dance floor, rubbing her shoulder.

“What did I do to always get bruised when I play a team with female Canadians?” she murmurs, tugging another shot close to her and swallowing it. Jack raises an eyebrow in concern.

“Are you alright?” she asks, grabbing another shot.

Roope laughs, “Yeah, your girl shoved me into the boards pretty hard but it’s nothing. It’s not like when we played the Bruins. That was unpleasant.”

“If you’re talking about Taylor, she’s not my girl,” Jack groans, drowning her second shot, coughing as the alcohol burns her throat.

There’s something, maybe sad, maybe bitter, in Roope’s laugh as she looks out at the dance floor. Jack follows her gaze and nearly bangs her head on the table at the clear view of Taylor basically grinding on Seguin, bodies pressed together and smiles real.

Roope pushes a third shot in her hand, “Drink and then we dance,” she orders, throwing back the last shot she’d left in front of her.

“Yes, please,” Jack smiles gratefully, tugging Roope into a hug and kissing her cheek before finishing the shot.

Roope smirks, “Wanna show them how the “kids” do it?”

“You just wanted an excuse to feel me up,” Jack teases, laughing in delight as Roope nods.

“You’re hot, not as hot as,” her gaze is once again directed to a person on the dance floor that Jack can’t see not with Roope standing in front of her, “anyway, let’s forget about whatever is making us sad.”

Jack nods, “Baby, you gotta move if you want to dance with me.”

Roope chuckles, reaching back and grabbing Jack’s hand, leading them on the dance floor.  
They pretty quickly find a rhythm, their teammates coming up and spinning them around for a little while.

Sami tugs Jack into a spin, laughing and spinning her back to a dizzy looking Roope as the song shifts into something a little dirtier. Because of the way Roope catches her, her gaze finds Taylor’s. Taylor’s eyes are flashing with something Jack doesn’t want to bother to even parse out, too many emotions, most of them bitter swirling in the depths of those beautiful brown eyes.

Jack doesn’t want to overthink things, doesn’t want to make something up, she almost thinks she was tricked by the flashing lights as Roope spins her around. But then she sees Nico, an array of shots in front of him, clearly just ordered, and the way he’s knocking them back like they are water. He looks sad, as though it’s that night on the roof in Edmonton but worse somehow. Everything inside Jack is aching.

The music is still blaring, her team is still dancing, Nico’s still drinking and Taylor still has her hands all over someone else, someone she’s got a history with. Even though Roope’s pressed against her, one hand curled around Jack’s waist, all she feels is cold.

She’s almost grateful when Heiskanen comes up to Roope moments later, tugging her away and showing her time. Roope looks regretful, turning to Jack and wrapping her in a hug, “Curfew, I’ll see you in March when you come see us.”

“Wait, I’ll come with you,” Jack murmurs, caught up in the sight of Seguin and Taylor whispering to each other, and then tearing her eyes away as Taylor presses a soft kiss to the Star’s lips. There’s something very different about suspecting and then seeing and if Jack thought she ached before, it’s nothing compared to the thunderstorm that threatens to pull her away. She bites down on her lip, hard enough to draw blood and lets Roope lead her out, hands fumbling with her phone as she pulls up the uber app.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Heiskanen asks, glancing at both of them in concern, especially when the Stars captain walks over, looks at Miro and says, “I’ve got her.”

Miro mutters something in Finnish that makes Roope frown and shake her head at the other girl. The defender just sighs, looking at Benn with an expression that Jack could almost call a glare.

Suddenly there’s noise behind them, Miles and Kyle each half carrying a nearly unconscious Nico. He’s slurring his words but his words get clearer as he spots Jack, still waiting with Roope and says, “fucking beautiful goal tonight scharz”

Before frowning at himself and muttering a few sentences in Swiss-German. Jack recognizes one or two, enough that she knows he’s swearing and she reaches over catches his hand and gives it a squeeze right as the car that will take her to bed pulls up. Roope waits until she’s inside before moving to stand by her captain, Benn wrapping an arm around with a fluidity that speaks to experience. It’s tender in a way that makes Jack feel like she’s intruding, even though she’s in the car, literally pulling out of the lot.

Jack gets home and heads straight to bed, she doesn’t grab ice cream or chocolate bar, not wanting to linger and witness Taylor laughing, bright and beautiful and utterly unreachable, as she brings Seguin up to the room across the hall. There’s only so much Jack can take before she does something reckless.

Hanukkah isn’t Jack’s favorite holiday but she’s got some amazing memories attached to it and she loves presents so she’s definitely still fond of it. And not being with any of her family hurts something awful.

It especially sucks because Quinn is in Detroit, her brothers are together and her parents flew up and she’s going to be playing a game while they’re all lighting the candles and exchanging gifts. Even if they wanted to wait for her, she could be busy during intermission, there is no guarantee that she’d be able to watch on FaceTime. It’s not like the Program.

First she misses services and now this. Hockey takes so much away from her, until her last name isn’t even hers, just what people call her. Until the number on her back, the symbol on her front, the flag on her helmet, they define her. Not anything she’s clawed to keep, not anything she’s stowed away, not anything that makes her heart beat.

Jack knows she’s brooding as she looks out the window at the Chicago skyline, her phone buzzing with videos and texts from the people she never doesn’t want to hear from. But right now she misses them something awful and the reminder that they’re all together and she’s here makes her want to scream.

Thankfully, Hanukkah continues through Christmas and her parents are coming down, both to see her play and then celebrate with her on her day off. But still, all her presents are waiting at Taylor’s, none of them arriving in time for her to add even one to her bag for the road trip. She does have a second cousin living in the Chicago suburbs, like basically every Jewish person she’s ever met, but she doesn’t know them that well at all, doesn’t feel comfortable inviting herself over.

She’s pulled away from her thoughts by a knock on the door. Sliding off the bed, she wraps her jacket tighter around herself and opens the door to be met with Taylor and Nico, windswept and snow dusted.

“Hey,” she says slowly.

“Hi,” Taylor says, smiling at her. There is none of the awkwardness present that seemed to hover over their interactions since the Dallas game and Jack hopes that they’re going back to normal.

“Happy Hanukkah,” Nico murmurs softly, gloved hand holding a bag.

“I didn’t think you remembered,” Jack says quietly, stepping back to let them into the room instead of just crowding at the door.

She turns away, eyes darting around the room and seeing that it’s just clothes exploded everywhere. Her vibrator is tucked away in her bag still, though she has a feeling she’ll need it at some point after Nico and Taylor leave.

Taylor makes a noise, wounded, and looks at Jack fiercely, “Of course we did, it matters to you.”

There’s a pause, a moment where she thinks Taylor might continue but she just smiles at Jack.

Nico laughs, “Yeah, we actually ran into each other downtown after lunch, after you’d gone back to the hotel and we, uh,” he swallows, voice going softer and serious, “got you a gift.”

Jack suddenly feels utterly overwhelmed, blinking back the surprising tears that prick at her eyelashes, barely hiding her shock as she gasps, “You did?”

Taylor nods, nudging Nico to hand her the bag, “I asked Parise to ask Zucker for advice and he said that the first night is normally something small so uh-”

Jack stares at them in shock, warmth spreading up her entire body. Taylor asked someone for advice. Taylor Hall. About something not hockey related. For her.  
Jack desperately wants to kiss her. It’s almost overwhelming, the urge to just screw everything and grab Taylor and haul her in for a kiss. If she keeps looking at Taylor, she will kiss her and so she looks at Nico, but that’s not much better. The soft smile on his face, the bag he’s holding, the red in his cheeks. He’s so beautiful.

She takes the bag, her hand brushing against Nico’s gloved fingers as she does so and she shivers. It’s basically out of Pride and Prejudice (2005). Jack just wants to fall face first on the bed and scream into the pillow but she can’t, she has to open up this gift. She bites her lip, trying hard to not burst into a massive grin, letting all her emotions play out on her face.

“I picked it out,” Nico admits, rocking back on his heels, a flash of fear on his face before he hides it. Taylor notices it too, one hand resting on Nico’s shoulder, both of them waiting, looking at Jack. The very moment that she realizes with a start that she’s not wearing a bra, she’d planned on napping. Her mind wanders, between them looking at her and her state of undress, she wants so badly she can taste it. But she can’t because Taylor reaches out and taps her ankle.

She comes back to and focuses on the present, the bag in her hand and starts carefully unwrapping it. Her mouth falls open when she pulls out two boxes nestled in the tissue paper. The boxes are both red and expensive and she opens up the first one to see an absolutely stunning pair of earrings. They’re studs, basically the only kind of earring that Jack wears. Jack gasps, noticing the Cartier logo on the inside of the box and running her finger over the beautiful mother of pearl inlay, the diamond in the middle and the little opening, all surrounded by a gold outline.

“Holy shit,” she gasps, hands trembling as she opens the second box. Mouth falling open at the sight of an incredibly beautiful necklace, also clearly Cartier, gold and curved with a point before the circle is able to sync back up, spotted with diamonds. She looks up at Taylor and Nico who both looking quite pleased with themselves.

“This is way too much,” Jack murmurs, fingers carefully picking up the necklace and letting it sway gently in front of her.

Nico shakes his head, “Jack, it’s what you deserve, we’re not taking them back.”

Taylor nods from beside him, “You’ll look beautiful without them anyway.”

Jack inhales sharply, mouth racing at the same time as her heart, both quicker than her head, “Can you put it on me?” she asks, hands playing with the chain.

Taylor nods, “Uh, absolutely,” she murmurs quietly.

As Taylor walks up to her, Jack feels as if time slows, turning towards the side so Taylor can see. Taylor’s hand brushes against hers, a copy of the way Nico had handed her the bag and Jack bites her lip just a little, heart hammering in her throat, trying to get out so it finally gets what it wants. Taylor gently holds the necklace, fingers brushing against Jack’s hoodie and Jack desperately wants to rip it off. Wants to stand there, in a hotel room in Chicago in a shirt, shorts and the jewelry they bought her and beg them to kiss her. But she doesn’t because as soon as the thought enters her head, the clasp is latched and Taylor steps away, eyes heavy with an emotion Jack’s heart calls desire and her mind calls fondness.

She lets her hair fall from where she’s been holding up and looks down at the earrings in her lap, making the split second decision to put them on. She quickly fastens them, gazing out at the window to help her make sure she gets them in properly and then turns to face Nico and Taylor.

They’re both staring at her and she quickly pulls her hair back into a loose bun, walking over to the mirror. The sight of herself nearly takes her breath away, the devils red of the hoodie, the gold of the necklace, the delicate slivery-white of the pearl in the earrings.

She looks like theirs.

She looks fierce and dangerous and yet soft at the same time.

And the realization that, holy shit, this is how they see her, hits her like Chara just shoved her into the boards. It’s mind-boggling.

“Thank you,” she breathes out, turning around to face them. She wipes her eyes and Taylor looks at her concerned.

“I’m fine, I’m just overwhelmed,” she admits, walking over to Taylor and pulling her into a hug, kissing Taylor on the cheek just before she pulls away fully. The press of her lips against Taylor’s soft skin sends shivers down Jack’s spine, even though it’s barely there, even though it happens in a blink.

She turns to pull Nico into a hug and his hands come up to clutch her hair, the necklace pressing against his shoulder. She’s used to being touched but not like this and she steps away sooner than she wants to. Her hand still pressing his gloved one as she murmurs quietly, “Thank you.”

Jack presses a kiss to Nico’s cheek, the same spot she’d kissed Taylor and she wants to hold on to this moment, even though for the safety of her own heart she’d already stepped away.

Nico opens the door, Taylor standing behind him and Jack blurts out, “Thank you, seriously. Both of you. It means so much.”

They nod, smiling at her and Jack watches the door shut behind them, eyes lingering on the way they seem to avoid touching each other, the easiness that filled the room gone as soon as one foot left.

She carefully takes off the earrings, puts them in the box and keeps the necklace on. She’d keep both but she sleeps curled on her side, blankets tucked around her, and the press of the earrings into the pillow is painful. She can sleep with a necklace, though.

She pulls out her phone and glances at the time. Nico and Taylor were only in her room for less than twenty minutes, though time had slowed so much it felt like it was several hours.

Is it normal to get presents from teammates? Is this a thing?

The Devils do Secret Santa and it’s not one of those joke ones and people celebrate birthdays but hockey players don’t tend to just give gifts. At least not in Jack’s admittedly limited NHL experience.

But she has people to ask and for a moment she thinks about texting one of the female players group chats before realizing they’d focus on the Cartier of it all and not the whole it’s Hanukkah. So, Jewish group chat it is.

Laying on the bed, head on the pillow, she scrolls past all her many unread texts, pausing briefly to see what video of her parents Quinn had sent her, and finds the Jewish group chat.

GC: AEPuck

Me: question: have any of your teammates got you stuff for Hanukkah?  
Zuuucks: Charlie made it a tradition to get me boxing lessons for the week when it happened. I don’t know if it will happen this year, I did have an email from him today though so it’s probably still a thing  
Literal Mensch: boxing lessons, Jase, that’s hilarious  
Me: fitting considering the holiday is about an armed uprising  
Zuuucks: yeah 😂  
Literal Mensch: I’ve had my linemates get me stuff. First year, Matts and Willy went all out and got me a gift every single day. they got me a signed WWE boxing glove on the last day.  
Me: holy shit that’s cool  
Qball: Jack…….  
Qball: who got you gifts?  
Me: Hallsy and Nico  
Zuuucks: oh that was why Z was asking questions about Hanukkah, it was for Hall  
Qball: sis, what did they get you?  
Me: a necklace and earrings, nothing too big  
Me: but like does it mean anything?  
Literal Mensch: it means they care about you and they pay attention outside of hockey  
Qball: yeah that’s probably it

She knows that her brother is rolling his eyes at her and probably Zach as well. She buries her head in the pillow, stripping off her hoodie and tossing it in the corner, cheering at it lands directly on the back of the desk chair. Looking down at herself as she tugs down the comforter so she can curl up and maybe just watch Bon Appetit videos on her phone to distract herself, she sees the necklace and heat spreads through her entire body, the phantom touch of Taylor and Nico lighting her up.

She knows she’s going to kill it tomorrow, buoyed by their faith in her.

When she walks into the locker room the next morning, she’s wearing Taylor and Nico’s gifts and no one really comments but she sees both of their jaws drop as she’s changing with the jewelry still on. She hides her smirk and she breathes deep, letting the sound of the crowd wash over her. Focusing back on the game at hand, she feels more confident than she ever has, other than maybe about going first to the Devils at the draft, as she traces the necklace once before carefully putting it and the earrings at the top of her stall.

She does kill it, getting five points and the game winning goal against the Hawks in overtime, Taylor and Nico crashing into her against the glass, nearly shoving everyone else out of the way so they can wrap her in their own private hug.

It’s a few days later when the Leafs come to town and they’re at the practice rink when she runs into Zach who tugs her into a hug as he shouts, “Jack!”

“Hey,” Jack murmurs, tucking her chin in Jack’s shoulder, forgetting that she’s wearing the necklace until Zach pulls away, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Jack, that’s Cartier, I didn’t know you liked them,” he says, frowning.

“I do, but these were a gift,” she admits, smiling softly, “don’t worry, I’ll like whatever you got me.”

Zach laughs, “if you didn’t I would have blamed Willy since she helped me pick it out, wait here, I’ll go grab it.”

Jack nods, pulling out her phone and checking her snaps, seeing that Alex had gone to visit Trevor and grinning. She’s just finished sending them a string of heart eyes emojis when Zach comes back out, holding a small bag.

“Here,” he says, rocking on the balls of his feet and she rolls her eyes.

“Oh my god, how are you nervous? Zach,” she laughs, pulling out a pair of earrings decorated with the hamsah.

“Zach,” she says softly, tugging him into a hug, “they’re beautiful really,”

Zach shrugs, “It’s tradition to get people hamsahs for hanukkah in my family and us Jews in the league, we gotta stick together.”

Jack grins, “Awww, that’s lovely.”

“Thanks,” Zach murmurs, ducking his head as a voice from the visitors’ locker room calls out,

“Hyms, come on.”

“See you on the ice,” Jack smirks and Zach ruffles her hair, turning around and walking back to his team. Jack puts the earrings in her pocket, throws away the bag and walks back to the gym where the rest of her team is working out after the on ice morning skate.

They win the game, though Jack is pointless, watching from the bench as Nico and Taylor connect for three goals, wrapping each other in hugs that feel too imitimite for Jack to be witnessing. She knows she’s the only one who feels this way but she’s also spent most of the past three months living with both of them with the amount that Nico is over. She knows how they look at each other when they think the other one isn’t looking. Jack is very aware about what makes them happiest and those smiles there, on the ice, Nico nearly spinning Taylor around in delight, yeah, that’s what it looks like.

The team talks about going out to celebrate the win but Jack declines, grinning. Willy found a karaoke bar and is demanding girl time so she’s got other plans.

“Hanging out with Auston and Willy,” she explains, laughing at the pout on Taylor’s face.

“You like them better than me?” Taylor demands, an edge to her voice that Jack wishes was jealousy but probably is nothing.

“Awww Hallsy, I live you with you, of course I don’t,” Jack teases, the sentiment sincere even if her tone sounds like it’s joking.

“Yeah, we knew that was coming,” Miles teases, chuckling, “Hallsy would kick Jack out if she got wind that the rookie liked anyone more. Nice save.”

He nods at her and Jack grins, pulling her hair up and playfully swatting Nico with a towel as he passes.

“Hey what was that for?” he demands and Jack smirks.

“Game winner bud.”

Nico laughs, “Yeah, yeah.”

Jack loves making him laugh and the grin that spreads across her face is uncontainable. She’s still flying high when she meets up with Auston and Willy at the bar like 45 minutes later, accepting the hugs and congratulations from both girls with patience.

“So, why a karaoke bar?” Jack asks and Auston shrugs, a small shift to her shoulders that Jack wouldn’t have noticed if she wasn’t related to Quinn. Auston and her brother both have the same unflappable steady calmness about them.

Willy grins, “Private room, fun, and drinks.”

Jack nods.

“Auston’s buying,” she smirks, “gotta spend that bonus.”

Auston laughs, “Fine, only the best for my protege.”

It’s a couple of hours later, enough drinks in that Jack is tipsy and Auston has disappeared to hook up. Jack knows that her and Matt have passes on the road, that Auston will find a girl to eat her out in a bar bathroom after scoring the game tying goal. Auston’s confident enough that people who aren’t into hockey are drawn to her. They probably won’t see her for the rest of the night and with Auston’s chill gone from the room, a tension floats back in.

Willy’s flipping through the songbook when her phone buzzes and Jack’s closer to it so she grabs it and tosses it over. She does see that it’s a text, one of several missed, from someone named Kyle and remembers that Willy had taken her time getting up after she’s gotten slammed by Nate during a scrum in front of the net in the second. Remembers being on the bench and seeing the camera pan to the GM suite and Kyle Dubas looking horrified and then relieved as Willy skated back to the bench. The GM’s expression reminded Jack weirdly of Trevor’s face when Alex had gone down, right before the two of them had started dating but after everyone already could tell something was happening. And that can’t be right. Jack just assumed she was seeing things and projecting but the way Willy looks fond, like she can’t hide it as she looks at phone, well, maybe Jack is actually good at reading people.

“Oh are you ok? The hit from Nater in the second,” Jack asks, the room quiet as Willy sends a quick text back to Kyle.

Willy laughs, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Good,” Jack murmurs, tugging Willy’s legs towards her, finger playing with the seat cushion.

“You ok?” Willy asks and Jack raises an eyebrow, waiting for Willy to continue.

Willy sighs, tapping her fingers on the table that’s beside her, “You sound sorta sad on your texts, babe. Also you mentioned pining, that go anywhere?”

Jack slumps, shaking her head, “It’s not happening. They’re-”

She stops, blushing and Willy laughs, “Like I have room to judge.”

She’s bitter, that much is obvious and Jack quirks an eyebrow.

“No one really knows and I don’t know you well enough to share who it is,” Willy admits, running a hand through her hair.

“It’s hard, the wanting,” Jack whispers, heart aching and Willy nods.

“Especially when I actually know how he kisses,” Willy groans, “god, why does he have to be so good about wanting to protect me. I can have both.”

But it’s how Willy says it that catches Jack off guard, the older girl obviously lying to herself and Jack lifts her head to see frustration plain on Willy’s face.

“Willy,” Jack says quietly and Willy shakes her head,

“Take it from me, Hughesy, don’t grab onto something like another person’s heart unless you’re willing to protect it from the storm that comes.”

Willy sounds almost guilty as she says it and Jack feels terrified because the way Willy is talking, like she had this person and then lost them, like both of them know that they love each other but Willy is so fucking sad. Jack doesn’t want that. Jack doesn’t want to have Nico or Taylor for a moment and then lose them to outside influences.

“You both backed away, didn’t you?” Jack asks, twisting her fingers around and Willy nods.

“People say that it’s better to love and have lost than never loved at all but god damn that’s such fucking bullshit,” Willy hisses, “tell that to my heart, tell that to the way he says my name, tell that to my fucking dreams.”

There’s agony there and Jack wants to pull Willy into a hug, let her cry but Willy seems like she’s close to blowing up and Jack doesn’t know her well enough to know how best to respond.

So all she says, more to the ceiling than to Willy, “They’re in love with each other and I’ll never compete with that.”

It’s the first time she’s said that out loud, and somehow saying it just cemented it as fact. Yes, they’ve had two years without her, two years of playing together and that’s just the reality of it but they look at each other so differently than they look at her.

She feels water on her cheek and she doesn’t even know when she started crying. Fuck.

At least Willy won’t hold it against her, she thinks as she wipes her eyes. Willy’s looking at her like she understands, gaze sympathetic.

“That’s the first time you’ve said it aloud huh?” Willy murmurs and Jack nods, fingers clenched together and Willy gets up and pulls her into a hug, hair tickling Jack’s face making her laugh.

“I want them so badly I can’t think,” Jack whispers, voice sounding strangled and Willy runs her fingers through Jack’s hair soothingly.

“I’m the person who’s a neon sign of what not to do babe,” Willy says, sighing.

“What actually happened?” Jack asks, curious.

Willy looks away, crestfallen “Long story short, we’d been dancing around each other for years, we kissed, I came back and wasn’t playing well and I think we both independently decided that it wasn’t worth the potential angst.”

Jack is confused by that because every single one of her female NHLer group chats is filled with women who did decide that love was worth it, even with trades and bad locker rooms and everything that it took to get there.

But clearly Willy’s situation is different, if she couldn’t even go to Carter and get advice considering all she and Richards have been through, including the media speculating that they’d get divorced after Richards got cut from the Kings.

“But that’s one of the rules,” Jack says, and it is. Every woman who makes the NHL gets sent a list of rules along with the welcome to the NHL text from Jumbo, who’s the oldest current first round female player. One of those is the single phrase:

“You only get a few years to play hockey but love lasts forever”

It’s a reminder that part of being in the hockey sorietry means that you get supported, no matter what.

“Yeah, when you fall in love with another player or like a non hockey,” Willy frowns and Jack glares.

“I will text them to clarify,” she hisses and Willy holds up her hands.

Sighing, she breathes, “It was my choice too, ok.”

Jack snuggles closer, trying to hide a yawn. Between the game and this and the emotion and arousal that comes with wearing something from Nico and Taylor recently, she’s just drained.

Willy chuckles at her, “Come on, I’m getting you back to Hall’s.”

Jack gets up, pulling Willy to her feet and tugging her into a long hug, “Thanks.”

“Always, rookie.”

“He’ll come around,” Jack murmurs, and Willy smiles softly.

“Yours will too, they can’t be dummies forever,” she ruffles Jack’s hair and shuts off the light.

Jack goes straight to bed when the car drops her off, stripping off everything but her underwear and the necklace and curling up under the comforter.

The day after the New Year, after a team party at Lindsey and PK’s house for New Year’s Eve, after Jack watched Taylor and Nico exchange glances when the other one wasn’t looking with a minute to midnight. She’d gotten a kiss from Corey on the forehead at midnight and that had started everyone kissing her on the forehead, including a final two from Taylor and Nico. That had made her shiver and she’d excused herself and headed home quickly after, headed to bed and grabbed the new vibrator Willy had sent her after their talk, with a note that just said it was really quiet and really good for road trips. She’d just finished getting off when Taylor had knocked on the door and she’d scrambled off the bed, the vibrator messing up the sheets where she’d tried to hide it.

“Hey, is everything ok?” Taylor had asked, raising an eyebrow and Jack notices the inhale that Taylor does at the sight of Jack and Jack remembers just how little she’s wearing.

“Yeah, just was feeling really tired,” Jack says, telling a half truth. And that had been the end of it but had Taylor gotten there even a minute earlier, Taylor would have heard Jack moaning her’s and Nico’s names.

The amount that she wants has increased so much and now they’re playing the Islanders and that means Jordan Eberle, that means the guy that Taylor still seems to be close to, the guy that she almost seems to love.

The guy who is the envy of Jack for a lot of reasons, most importantly that he knew Taylor before she was scarred by Edmonton.

And the game itself is harder than it should be. It’s the Islanders, they’re not as skilled as Jack’s team but she and Nico are both slightly distracted from the moment they get to the arena and see Taylor chatting with Jordan with a comfort that Taylor only seems to wear at home.

Taylor had laughed, hand running up and down Eberle’s arm, and all Jack had seen was red.

She spends more time hitting Eberle than making plays and Coach chews her out in front of the whole team after the first. Going on the bike, she tries to ignore the way Palms and Greener are teasing Taylor about ditching the team and going out with Eberle after the game.

She can’t get the way Taylor’s voice had gone soft, fond, out of her head when she’d replied, “It’s Ebs, deal with it.”

The way she had said Eberle’s name reminded Jack of how Quinn talks about Brady, how Jack talks about Noah, hell, how her mom talks about her dad. The fondness obvious, the love so clear it’s nearly text.

And well, what happens post game only serves to inform Jack that Taylor is letting someone from Edmonton, someone from the place that did the breaking, heal her heart. Because there’s Eberle, waiting outside of the visitors’ locker room, tugging Taylor into a hug that lasts and lasts and lasts. Jack digs her nails into her palms, biting down on her lip and watching as Taylor pulls back just enough to beam brilliantly at Eberle. Every inch of them but their faces is still pressed together and that is the thing that makes Jack want to go drown all the mini alochol bottles in her room right the fuck now. Because she lives with Taylor and she sees how Taylor will allow herself touch but that there are limits. Cuddling during movies, yes. However, hugs that last longer then like 15 seconds when not on the ice is just absolutely not a thing. Taylor has in fact literally pushed Jack away when she’d wanted to hug for longer.

Clearly, those rules don’t apply for Eberle and Jack has to get out of here before she does something stupid. She doesn’t earn the right to ruin Taylor’s night just because she’s jealous and she makes quick work of her post game routine. Nico evidently feels similarly because he’s dressed and ready to go when she walks through to the main locker room from the curtained off women’s section, which definitely used to be a small office or a large closet.

“Want to go back to the hotel together?” she asks him quietly, and Nico nods, pausing to look for Taylor who has already gone into the women’s section.

“She’s in the shower,” Jack mutters, “I was out and dressed by the time she got in.”

“She was talking to Eberle for a long time,” Nico says, bitterness obvious in his tone and Jack bumps his shoulder with her own.

“Come on, let’s go drink some of those tiny bottles they give in hotels that cost way too much money and forget about this shitshow of a game,” Jack says, smiling softly at Nico and leaning in to the warm feeling that spreads as he grins at her. He hasn’t smiled since they got to the rink, they’d gotten shutout so there was no reason to smile on the ice.

Nico nods, wrapping his scarf tight around his face as they walk together in the wintery New York night.

They get back to the hotel, heading right up to Nico’s room. He grins at her and raises an eyebrow, “You want to change and borrow some sweats?” he asks.

Jack nods and Nico digs in his suitcase, tossing her a pair of sweats with his number on the thigh. It doesn’t mean what she wants it to mean but she heads to the bathroom to change, after dumping her coat, scarf and hat on the dresser to get wrinkled. She’s wearing her shirt, a nice flowy top and Nico’s sweats, which are way too big for her. Though when she looks in the mirror she remembers that she’s still wearing the earrings, she’s still wearing the necklace.

Right now, she looks like Nico’s, the number, the clothes, the jewlery, and fuck, she wants.

She settles on the bed, pretending not to notice his inhale as he looks at her and focuses on the many mini bottles of liquor in front of her.

“I say we go for one each, we do have to get on a plane tomorrow,” Nico says, grabbing a thing of vodka.

“One and a half each,” Jack bargains, fist pumping when she finds a tiny bottle of whiskey.

Nico sighs, “Fine, we’re sharing the tequila.”

“Fucking yes,” Jack grins, downing the bottle in one go. She lies back on the pillows, lounging as Nico downs the vodka and then grabs the Tequila and lies back, legs tossed over Jack’s.

“Tonight was a fluke, we’ll win the next game, we’re going to make the playoffs, we’ve still got time,” Nico declares confidently and Jack rests her head on her shoulder.

“I hope so, I want us to,” Jack murmurs, adding softly, “especially if that’s the only way Taylor stays.”

Nico shifts up, cupping her face so she’s looking at him directly instead of just the tv, “Hey, Jack, she’s not the only one on this team and I believe in you that you could do it without her.”

Jack inhales sharply, “ditto, Mr. First Overall.”

“Jack,” Nico breathes, inching closer and Jack swallows roughly.

“I don’t want too though,” she admits quitely and Nico nods, letting go of her face and she snuggles into his shoulder. He opens the bottle of Tequila and they pass it back and forth for a few minutes, the room quiet.

Eventually Jack lifts her head, pulling away and getting off the bed to grab a Hershey bar from the snack drawer, She rips it open, handing Nico a chunk and he eats it, gaze serious as he looks at her. She wants to make a joke, to turn on the TV but this feels like one of those moments where time stops. One of those moments where something starts. One of the moments like she’s got the game on her stick and she has to keep it close to not let the puck get stolen.

The pause is long, the room quiet, the streetlights making Nico look soft and shaded at the same time. He keeps looking at her and her hand reaches up to play with the necklace, fingertip digging in to the exposed point.

“I think,” Nico starts, clearing his throat, “I think I could love you.”

It’s so quiet that Jack almost doesn’t hear his confession but words seem impossible, though she wants to tell him she feels the same, and so she does the only thing she can because Nico looks like he wants to run, like he wants to rip up the contract he signed a few months ago, the fear on his face making Jack ache.

She leans in and kisses him.

It’s gentle but there and she can feel him relax, kissing her back, arm coming up to wrap around her shoulders and pull her even closer.

It feels right but like something is missing, like this still isn’t enough and Jack wants to scream.

Nico pulls away and raises an eyebrow at her and she shifts, fingers clutching the comforter. She doesn’t know how to explain this. But she has to, she’s the one who kissed him.

“Taylor,” she says quietly, her voice shaky and Nico looks at her, brushing a hair out of her eyes.

“She’s missing but she made her choice and it wasn’t us,” Nico says, tracing her cheek with a finger.

“Did she even know we were an option?” Jack asks, sighing in frustration, before shaking her head, “Don’t answer that.”

“Ok,” Nico murmurs, eyes soft even as his hands trace her skin like he’s begging for her to stay, like he doesn’t believe she’s still here.

“You saw how she looked at Eberle. It’s how you look at her. How I look at her,”Jack says a little bitterly.

“Jack,” Nico sighs, squeezing her hand and he sounds defeated and sad and a little broken and Jack hates it. Nico should never sound like that

“Just kiss me,” Jack asks again, pulling Nico closer. They’re here now. She wants to savor it, she wants to let herself get lost in him.

He does what she asks, voice confident as he says, “That I can do.”

She shivers and he finally captures her mouth again, lips careful yet claiming as they press against hers. They kiss until they need to break apart to breathe and then she leans in again, hands clutching his shoulders like he’s the only thing anchoring her to reality. Eventually, lips swollen, hair mussed and shirt crinkled up, she glances at the time.

“Oh my god, we’ve been kissing for hours,” she says, laughing at Nico’s smug expression.

“You want to just sleep here?” he asks, voice gentle and she nods.

“Can I borrow a shirt?” she asks and Nico looks delighted, grinning at her. She pads off the bed and goes back into the bathroom, changing into just her shirt, a shiver of satisfaction running down her spine as she looks at herself, how well-kissed she is. How his she looks. If only Taylor was here.

But no, now isn’t about what’s missing. It’s about what she has.

Jack curls up beside Nico, legs tossed over his and resting her head on his shoulder. His fingers trace her curls where they’ve fallen out of her ponytail and she knows they spend a little more time kissing but she has no idea when she falls asleep.

Nico’s phone ringing is what wakes them up, Nico sighing as he untangles himself from her and she just clutches his sweats with her hand.

“Yeah,” he says into the phone, voice sleep hoarse in a way that makes Jack rub her thighs together.

He raises an eyebrow and glances down at her, “She’s with me, she’s fine. Hallsy, tell the team to quit freaking out.”

“What?” Jack mouths at him and he gestures towards her phone. She rolls her eyes, reaching over and grabbing it, only lifting up a little before falling back on to Nico’s chest.

Her eyebrows shoot up at the massive amount of missed texts from the past hour from the team.

“Did we miss breakfast or something?” she asks, very confused at the number of texts from Taylor.

Nico shrugs, “Look if you want to make sure she’s ok, come up to my room,” he says into the phone, hanging up and tossing it aside.

He leans down to kiss her again, “Good morning.”

“Hi,” Jack grins, as she pulls away, sitting up so she’s straddling him. He smirks up at her. She wants to always wake up like this.

But the necklace glints in the morning light and just as that happens, Taylor knocks on the door. It’s as though the universe is reminding them that they’re only halfway to getting what they want. Jack sighs, pulling herself out of bed and opening the door to see an exhausted looking Taylor Hall, eyes bloodshot like she didn’t sleep at all.

Jack frowns, “Sorry for worrying you.”

Taylor nods, face going tight as Nico wanders behind her and wraps an arm around Jack’s waist, fingers spread out over the 13 inked on the thigh of her sweats.

Jack thinks her heart is making stuff up again because something, a regret, a sadness, passes in Taylor’s eyes before disappearing and she’s grinning brilliantly at them both.

“Congrats, I’m really happy for you,” Taylor says and Jack leans back into Nico’s chest, wanting to reach out and tug Taylor in but it has to be at the right time.

Taylor quickly backs away, letting the door swing shut and Nico raises an eyebrow.

“Is she ok?” Jack asks, knowing that Nico knows Taylor better than she does and Nico shrugs, frowning, body tense.

“I’m not sure, she was being honest when she said she was happy for us but she also wasn’t telling the whole truth,” he murmurs, tugging her back on the bed.

“Do we want to tell the rest of the team?” Jack says, hands playing with the hem of Nico’s shirt that she’s wearing.

“I do but we don’t have to,” Nico says softly. Jack grins up at him, the sadness from seeing Taylor fading into the background, still there, just not the focus.

She kisses him again, soft and sweet and it feels like a slow burning fire, perfect for keeping your hands warm and roasting marshmallows.

“I do too,” she says, finally pulling away and Nico beams at her.

It’s a few weeks later when they’re in Toronto playing against the Leafs that Jack finally ends up talking to someone.

A few weeks of Nico getting her coffee from the local coffee shop a couple of streets away from the rink and handing it to her with a soft kiss to her lips whenever they had morning practice.

A few weeks of Taylor pulling away when Nico’s over at their house and Jack teaches him how to bake, to hilariously gross results.

And that sucks. Because before she had both of them, as friends, as mentors, as companions and while the friend part with Nico has shifted into something more, the friend part with Taylor seems to be fading.

She hates it, hates the way Taylor seems to be coming down in hoodies and sweats, even though they have the heat on at full blast, the way she’ll sit far away from Jack during movie nights. But most of all, what Jack despises is the way that Taylor has completely stopped touching her or Nico outside of the rink.

She’s used to quick hugs, a back slap, a hair ruffle and now there’s nothing. Jack knows she’s far more touchy than Taylor is but this feels like she’s done something wrong.

She gets tugged into a hug by a grinning Willy Nylander when she arrives at the rink for morning skate. Nico spots them and waits, ducking his head even as he’s holding her coffee in one hand.

She grins at him, especially as Willy pokes at the hickey at her neck.

“Hughesy!” she grins, delighted and Jack laughs, rubbing at her neck, only a little uncomfortable as Taylor walks out of the locker room to do some stretches.

“We’re dating, it happens,” she says and Willy smirks.

Her voice goes lower as she murmurs, “All three of you?”

Jack shakes her head, wanting to not talk about wanting more than what she has so she asks equally quiet, “And how’s your love life?”

Willy glares at her, shifting, “I don’t even know what to do anymore,”

“I got tipsy on the hotel mini bottles and we were sad about Hallsy and then he said he “thinks he could love me” and well, I had to kiss him, so I don’t know that I should give you advice,” Jack admits, smiling a little at the memory.

Willy laughs and Jack feels as though someone is glaring at them, her hair standing on edge but when her eyes carefully sweep down the corridor, it’s just them.

“I gotta go,” Jack says, tugging Willy into one last hug.

“See you on the ice,” Willy calls back, walking away and nearly running into Kyle Dubas who immediately reaches out to steady her, the blushes on both of their faces making Jack wonder. But no, now is not the time.

She gets back to the locker room and is immediately heckled by PK who smirks, turning to Nico as she says, “You know if Jizzy were to leave you for anyone I’d have to put money on Nylander.”

Everyone laughs at that, except Taylor and of course that’s something that Jack still notices.

But she can’t dwell on it, she’s got a game to help win and soon she’s going to have all her teammates be on trips to paradises and beaches and she’s going to be the sole New Jersey representative at the All Star Game.

Roope had gotten her in touch with Miro, as the female Stars sophomore had been the only representative for her team last year. Granted, the attention had been taken over by KCS and Decker and the women’s leagues so it didn’t turn into as big of a thing as everyone thought it would be. It also helped that San Jose has always been good for female players whereas St.Louis is less so.

Jack doesn’t have great expectations for the amenities in the locker room, considering the Blues only have one female player and she’s a fourth liner that they got from Washington.

There’s a lot of them this year, a lot of women and especially a lot of American women with Jack representing the Sabres, Johnny representing the Flames, Dylan drawing in from the Wings and Jonesy from the Jackets. Jack loves her team, loves the Devils but she’s the only American girl and she’s so happy about hanging out with her girls that she texts Alex a series of exclamation points.

She knows that Dylan is sad about Zach not coming but she also knows from the group chat that Larks is heading straight to Cabo to meet up with her boyfriend on a beach the moment the game ends.

She and Nico don’t have those kinds of plans, especially because Nico is taking a trip with the 2017 draft class and she doesn’t want to intrude. She’s coming from visiting her family, which was nice but also stressful at the same time, and she wishes she’d just gone to Mexico with Nate and Mikey who had invited her.

When she arrives in St. Louis, she’s immediately tugged into a hug by Roope whose plane has just arrived minutes before Jack’s.

“Hey Hintz, wasn’t expecting you to be here this early,” Jack comments as the two girls head to the baggage claim.

Roope laughs, “Yeah, we flew in from Cabo, so there were less options.”

“We?” Jack asks, suddenly remembering that the week right before the All-Star Weekend was the Stars’ bye week.

Sitting in one of the chairs is a grinning Jamie Benn who hands Roope a bag and presses a kiss to her cheek before nodding to Jack.

“Hughes,” he greets, “nice hot streak you’ve been on.”

“Thanks,” Jack murmurs, “are you staying?”

“Nah, I’m heading back to Dallas. Don’t need the questions,” he says, Roope laughing, pushing him away from her.

“Get on your flight Cap,” she says, Jamie muttering something that Jack doesn’t hear in her ear but it’s clearly good because Roope beams at him.

“Enjoy the weekend,” he calls out, heading away to the depturatures area,

Jack waits until he’s fully gone to turn to Roope and stare at her, “Dude are you fucking your captain? I thought he was Seguin’s.”

Roope looks like Jack just slapped her and then she stills herself, tone going flat as she replies, very matter of factly, “He’s not.”

“Sorry,” Jack says quietly, gently squeezing Roope’s shoulder and heading off to grab her bag. Roope’s still waiting for her when she gets out front and Jack raises an eyebrow.

“I can’t lose you too, my relationship with Jamie has meant most of the Canadian women hate me because they think I’m a homewrecker,” Roope admits, rubbing her hands together.

“Can I hug you?” Jack asks and Roope nods. Jack immediately wraps Roope up, even though it means that Jack’s face is basically pressed into Roope’s boobs, they have that much of a height difference.

Roope chuckles softly, spotting a NHL representative and letting go of Jack to walk over. Jack is immediately tugged into a complicated handshake with Eichs, resulting in Roope nearly falling on the ground laughing when she doesn’t get it the first or second times.

“Eichs, why?” Jack demands and Eichs doesn’t answer because Jonny shows up and the two girls immediately run towards each other, forgetting everyone else.

Roope has her phone out, casually texting someone and Jonny grins, “Hey, it’s the All Star Rookies, nice.”

Roope glowers at all of the older girls as they walk, clearly resenting the fact that she’s here alone and that Jack has people. Jack bumps their shoulders together and Roope smiles just a little.

She’s surrounded by legends, by cup winners and record breakers, by people she’s grown up watching and those she’s been watching on TV since her time in NTDP. And all she keeps doing is checking instagram and snapchat, to see what Taylor’s up to, to catch the sight of Nico’s bare skin.

She wishes they were here, wishes she didn’t feel so alone. Roope had been enveloped by the Finns the moment the bus had reached the hotel.

The entire metropolitan division is having bonding drinks at the rooftops. Ovi had sent them all a text that simply read:

GC: ASG Metro St.Louis  
From Ovi ⛲️: Rooftop in 10 minutes, I bring vodka

Nevermind that Jack is not in fact 21 and this is illegal. It’s fun to just go out and hang out with people, even if after this weekend they’ll be back to being her enemies.

She drowns a couple of vodka shots, laughing at Claude describes the tentative courtship between Patrick and Konecny, a dynamic that Nico will sometimes describe when they’re just laying on the couch after a bad game and he wants to make her smile.

“You hear about it Hughes?” Gixueox asks and Jack nods.

“Nico,” she explains, “sometimes Nolan calls him when him and I are watching TV with Hallsy and it’s very very entertaining.”

Claude laughs, raising an eyebrow for her to continue which she gladly does, “Yeah Nolan mentioned last week that Travis had tried to cook for them and accused Hallsy of giving him tips because TK made KD and brought wine and that was his idea of a romantic idea. Which first of all, Hallsy would never.”

Everyone starts laughing at that, and Jack goes red, feeling like she’s said too much. The defensiveness of her tone as she’d said that last comment was obvious to her.

She’s saved from talking anymore because her phone rings and it’s Nico.

She wanders over to the other side of the rooftop, wrapped up in her coat and looks over the city. The last time she’d had a view like this was Chicago and she touches her earrings for a moment, remembering that for one small moment she’d had everything she wanted. She’d been theirs.

But Nico’s face is grinning up at her through his photo on her home screen and she hits accept.

“Hey Jack,” he says, voice sounding quiet but happy. Like he’s finally getting a break from the pressure of the team and part of her resents him. Because she didn’t get a break. She’s with people she barely knows and she’s still having to answer questions. She’d just been at home and had to answer questions about Nico and her play and she knows her dad, knows her mom, knows they notice that she’s been without an even strength goal basically since her and Nico got together. Not that they know that she’s dating Nico but still. It had come up multiple times.

She doesn’t respond and she can hear the new worry in Nico’s voice as he says her name again, “Jack, are you?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just exhausting. I don’t feel like I get a break,” Jack admits in a near whisper, drawing her knees to her chest.

Nico makes a noise in sympathy and she wants him here so badly it nearly overwhelms her. She just doesn’t want to be alone.

“I wish you or Taylor were here,” she murmurs, the snow falling steadily in front of her, a couple flakes landing her hair. She’s brought back to that night in Chicago again and it’s too much.

“I’m sorry, I wish I could - “ Jack stops, the words that come to mind making her heart hurt.

“I know,” Nico says, picking up where’s she going. She can hear him shrug as he says, “Taylor is very easy to be consumed by.”

Jack makes a noise, torn from the back of her throat.

“I’m not someone who falls easily, at least not seriously. But I think I’ve been in love with her since the first time I saw her skate during our first game together. And I hurt, Nico, it hurts everytime I look at her and I don’t like it. Because I have you and that should,” she says quickly, her - boyfriend, lover, friend - her Nico, on the other end of the line while on a rooftop in St. Louis, wishing he was here. She feels cold, not just from the windy snowfall, but from how alone the city makes her feel.

“Jack,” Nico says, slow like he’s thinking, soft like he’s trying to comfort her, stilted like he’s hurting.

“I hate this,” Jack whispers, fingers digging into her palms hard enough that they are going to leave marks.

“Fuck,” Nico curses, “I wish I could tell you it gets better.”

“I just want to stop dreaming of something that I know is impossible,” Jack murmurs and she can hear the smile in Nico’s voice as he replies.

“I thought you were impossible so who’s to say we can’t also have Taylor?”

Jack snorts, “I think Taylor would say no.”

Nico is definitely rolling his eyes at her, “Yeah but what if she didn’t?”

“Nico,” Jack says, voice sounding like she’s begging because she doesn’t want these thoughts in her head. She doesn’t need them.

She’s been away from the rest of the team long enough for Murrey to walk over to her and raises an eyebrow.

“Look I gotta go but have fun,” she murmurs.

“Everything ok?” the Pens goalie asks, hand rubbing the back of her neck.

“No worse than normal,” Jack says, the answer a bit too honest and, yeah, this is why she tries not to drink vodka. It loosens her tongue and makes her tell her fucking boyfriend that oh yeah she’s pretty sure she’s in love with their teammate.

Murrey looks concerned and Jack stands up, “Is there any vodka left? Might as well get the full hungover All Star experience,” she laughs, hiding her pain.

Claude wanders over to them, “Come on rookie, you can tell us about what Simmer’s been up to,”

Jack nods, tucked under Claude’s arm as she’s led back to the rest of the team.

She gets drunk enough to spend the rest of the weekend nursing a hangover and does well enough in the skills competition that she’s giddy about it and gets white girl wasted with the other American women in a club that night, feeling safe about letting go for the first time in awhile.

When she gets back with the team, the ache, the want for Taylor hasn’t faded and she’s missed Nico something awful even though it’s only been a week. How she’ll survive the summer she has no idea.

They go home for a game before heading to Dallas. She’s looking forward to seeing Roope, though she remembers the way Taylor had sounded when Seguin had called right after they’d gotten back. Nico had been over, hand stroking Jack’s hair as they watched an episode of Batwoman, and Taylor had been drinking a beer at the kitchen when her phone had rang. It hadn’t sounded good at all and Jack’s not going to pretend she’s not worried.

But even for a few days, it’s nice to be home. Because that’s what Jersey is now, that’s what Taylor’s house is now, it felt weird being back at her parents for bye week, a place that so reflects who she used to be, not who she is. It was great, especially getting to relax but it wasn’t the same.

She’s glad to be back with her team, glad to be winning but she’s nervous about the way Coach is putting her with Taylor, about how hard it is for her to hide how much she wants when she gets Taylor’s arms wrapped around her. About the confession to Nico breaking things open.

She’s teetering on the edge of saying something, of losing Taylor, of losing herself and if the last time they played Dallas is any indication, something’s going to break open.

It’s not tense like the flight to Edmonton was, but there’s something hovering over PK and Taylor as they arrive in Dallas, a wariness that makes Jack hang back, teasing Nate about the photos she posted from bye week instead of making conversation with Taylor about the power play. Which has been a rut lately and needs to be fixed.

When she heads down for team dinner that night, Taylor’s not there and Nico is frowning.

“Everything ok?” she asks softly, sliding in beside him at the backroom of the steakhouse the team rented for them.

Nico sighs, “I always forget that Taylor, well, her and Seguin.”

Jack laughs, “yeah but you and Patrick, Kakko and I, like the hype bonds us together.”

“Yeah but I don’t sleep with Nolan,” Nico hisses and Jack raises an eyebrow,

“Because Konecny would murder you on the ice and Gritty would probably help, not fucking worth it,” she smiles, trying to lessen his tension.

It slightly works, he at least laughs and she grins wider. PK drops next to them, sighing, “I miss Lindsey.”

Nico rolls his eyes, “Subs, you just spent a week on a beach with her, can you give me time with my girlfriend who I didn’t see at all during bye week?”

PK grins, “Awww you two are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, good.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re way cute, now go away,” Jack says, flashing a smile at the defensewoman who goes and orders something from the bar.

“Sorry, I know --” Nico mutters, fingers tracing a pattern on the table cloth and Jack reaches across to squeeze his hand.

“She’s Taylor Hall, trust me I get it,” she says quietly. She knows that they should be enough for each other and that at some point, wanting Taylor as badly as they both do will break them up. But it doesn’t change the fact that the pieces of their hearts that don’t belong to hockey, their families and each other, well, those parts are utterly Taylor’s.

Nico sighs, “Do you want to come up to my room and cuddle after dinner, I sorta need to remind myself that we’re actually dating.”

Jack nods, glancing around the room and leaning across the table to kiss him lightly on the lips.

“Bye week looked fun,” she raises an eyebrow, letting Nico distract them from their hearts for awhile. Even though they’d texted, hearing the stories is different in person.

She wakes up in his arms, the Dallas morning streaming in through the window and she kisses her boyfriend’s forehead, walking back to her room. She nearly stumbles when she sees Taylor, sneaking back from a night with Seguin.

“I thought you had a curfew extension,” Jack asks, raising an eyebrow and Taylor shrugs.

“I do,” she says, looking Jack up and down, “You spent the night with Nico?”

There’s something in her tone, something that Jack can’t figure out. It’s probably judgement so Jack rolls her eyes, “Don’t worry he didn’t fuck me.”

Taylor inhales sharply, “Jesus fuck Jack, I didn’t,” she stops, turning away to open the door to her hotel room and Jack walks towards her own.

She throws herself down on the bed and screams into the pillow. Why would she tell Taylor that? Great, now she’s thinking about Taylor thinking about her and Nico having sex when they’ve literally only given each other hickies.

Thank god she’s brought her vibrator, she needs to get off. She does it quick, heading into the shower and hearing a knock on her door about 40 minutes later. She wraps the towel around herself, twists her hair once so it’s not dripping and opens the door.

No one is there. There’s no camera flashes so someone from the team is probably just making sure people know to wake up, not someone with another reason.

It’s a normal game day, morning skate and then back to the hotel for video and lunch and a nap. It’s her first nap without Nico in a bit and Jack sleeps worse than she has in the past month.

She gets to the rink, dressed in a suit for this game, plain black with a red silk shirt, and again pretends to ignore the way Taylor’s eyes linger. Taylor who arrived separately, Taylor who ditched them after video and went to Seguin’s. Taylor who looks better rested than Jack has seen her when they’re on the road. Jack wishes Taylor didn’t have all her attention. Nico lays a hand on her shoulder, squeezing as he murmurs, “You look really nice.”

Jack grins, turning to face him, “You too.”

He glances at her jewelry and she realizes that she’d left his and Taylor’s gifts at home, not packing for them for the one day road trip. Her smile goes tight and Nico reaches out to tuck a strand of hair that’s fallen from the bun behind her ear.  
He laughs, clearly at whatever he’s thinking and she relaxes just a little.

“Ready to win?” she asks, taking off her jacket and hanging it up.

Nico nods, “Goose is no Hallsy but we’ve got that European connection going on.”

“No one is Hallsy,” Jack admits, “I’m excited to be playing with her again.”

“You’re the only one I’d let center her,” Nico jokes but she knows what he’s really saying. Knows that he’s confirming that he’d step back if Jack went after Taylor romantically.

Jack laughs, shaking her head at Nico, who is now distractingly shirtless, “I mean, same.”

Jack kisses his cheek quickly, walking towards the women’s section. She’s feeling antsy, tense in a way that doesn’t serve her well on the ice and getting on the bike for even ten minutes before pre-game soccer should help with that.

The game is physical from the moment it starts. Hits being thrown and the penalties flying fast. Each team has had two power plays by the time of the first TV timeout and Jack has played maybe thirty seconds at even strength all game so far.

“Alright, let’s get it together, play hard but focused, the goals will come. Hughes your line is up when we get back,” Coach says and Jack nods, swallowing some water and tapping Taylor’s glove against her own.

They score in the next shift, taking advantage of a bad pass between the Dallas defense and Jack sauces it over to Taylor who scores, pulling her into a long hug even as they’re smushed between everyone else against the glass. Jack thinks she’s making this up, she’ll have to check twitter after, but it feels like Taylor’s smile got a little brighter when Jack skated over to join the celly.

Dallas scores in the final seconds of the first, a wicked wrister from Seguin who’s been on fire since Thanksgiving. Jack grins at Taylor as they walk back to the dressing room and Nico laughs, towel around his shoulder as he tugs off his jersey.

“Hallsy, you renewing the rivalry between you and Seguin?” Andy jokes.

Taylor laughs, “Alright, how many of you were going to make that joke?”

About half the team, including Nico, raises their hands and Taylor rolls her eyes, “Get new material assholes, it’s trite and overdone.”

“Yes, that’s why I didn’t say it,” Nico mutters but Taylor hears him and beams at him. Jack nearly forgets to breathe, because a full elated smile from Taylor Hall is rare enough and she watches the way Nico swallows heavily, blushing as Taylor says,

“And that’s why you’re my favorite.”

“Careful, Jack might get jealous,” Sami smirks, clearly delighted.

Jack shakes her head, “No, it’s ok. He’s my favorite too.”

She mentally adds that he’s tied with Taylor that in an ideal world she would say out loud.

Nico grins at her, flushed bright red and she wants to kiss him bad. Wait, they’re dating now. She can.

So she does, walking across the locker room and tugging him into a soft kiss, his hand going to cup her neck, keeping her closer. It’s the first time they’ve done PDA in the locker room and they’re not even home but it just, it felt right.

Nico’s who she’s with and she’s not hiding that. He pulls away first and her eyes flutter open, breath catching at the way he looks at her.

“Gonna score a goal for me?” she jokes and he nods sharply, jaw tightening in a way that makes her want to do things that they haven’t even talked about.

There’s a wolf whistle from someone and Jack is suddenly thrust back into a reality that isn’t just the heavy look in Nico’s eyes, the weight of his skin grounding her. She pulls away and without meaning to, her eyes land on Taylor. Taylor who has her teeth digging into her lower lip as she texts someone quickly. Taylor glances up and Jack feels like she’s been punched at the brief look of utter devastation in Taylor’s eyes that disappears so fast Jack’s almost sure she made it up.

Coach walks in after she’s made it back to her stall and she barely manages to pay attention, her eyes keep finding Nico.

They go back onto the ice for the final frame and Jack can’t help but noticing the way that Taylor seems to be throwing hits on both Benn and Roope with such ferocity that Jack keeps thinking they’re going to be on the penalty kill.

It’s halfway through the third, the score still tied, though both teams have had their chances when Jack’s line with Taylor and Jes is out against the Benn - Hintz - Pavelski unit and Jack comes over to dig the puck out of the boards when she’s hit by Roope and Taylor comes flying out of nowhere to viciously cross check Roope into the glass, mouth working so fast Jack can only hear every third but what she hears makes her seriously consider fighting her own team because fuck.

Roope is spitting Finnish at Taylor, rage hard in those blue eyes, and then Taylor, using all her strength to keep Roope pinned, face angerier than Jack has even seen as she snarls out, “You shouldn’t even be on the ice considering you got here on your knees for your fucking captain.”

Jack knows she’s completely abandoned pretending to get the puck, staring at Taylor in absolute horror.

Taylor gets called for roughing and sent to stew in the box while Jack takes deep breaths on the bench and watches as Roope scores a goal off an absolutely gorgeous pass from her captain. Watches as Taylor makes her way towards the bench, head down. Jack notices with a delight that she immediately hates herself for that Roope is looking directly at Taylor. Her friend focused on the way her teammate crosses the ice even while Benn is yelling joyously in her face.

And that’s it. That’s the final goal of the game. The Devils try but Bishop shuts down and the Stars Finnish defenders are blocking shots and getting sticks involved. Nico nearly gets the goal he’d promised Jack less than 20 minutes ago but what feels like years ago. Nico pulls her into a hug as the Stars celebrate at their net, Roope getting a helmet kiss from Benn. Taylor is staring at Seguin, staring at the Stars, and the look on her face, it’s like they just lost in the playoffs in overtime instead of just a regular season game.

The room is quiet, so quiet that Jack can hear someone shouting by the other locker room after media finally leaves.

She manages to make out the choked sob coming from the person who suddenly yells in an agony that Jack hopes she never feels, “I’m in love with you,” and then quieter but no less tortured, “I have been for years.”

This isn’t something she needs to know so she gets up, lingering by Taylor who has her head in her hands. But Taylor has made it clear that Jack’s not her first choice for comfort, that she prefers to be alone.

Jack sighs, heading to the shower and staying there for longer than normal, waiting until she hears Sami, Nate, PK and finally, Taylor leave. Her skin is all wrinkly but she needed that. Needed to get out of her head, to try to pretend that the person who’d been screaming isn’t how she feels about Taylor. Needed to try forget the way Taylor had said those things to Roope but she can’t. There was a hint of pain in her voice and that makes Jack feel a little less angry but. But. Taylor had called her friend something despicable, something that Roope seemed almost used to hearing. There are things she can forgive and not forget and she hates that the hold that Taylor has on her, puts even this in that category.

They fly out that night so they head straight to the hotel for a quick bag pick up and then it’s back to the bus to go to the airport about 30 minutes away. The stop at the hotel is short but it’s long enough for Jack’s phone to go off like crazy.

She doesn’t check it until she gets to the lobby, until she arrives to see Taylor staring at her phone with an expression Jack doesn’t want to name there’s so much pain and guilt in there.

There’s a text to the big group chat, the one with all the female NHLers and that’s what catches Jack’s eye first because that group is rarely used, at least since Jack’s been in the league. It’s always been the sub groups, the Americans, the Tri-State women, the top picks. The only time Jack has ever seen this group active was when Patty signed with the Sharks again. So this is big.

GC: Lipstick and Skates

From Tyler Seguin 🌟: Hintz is off limits. I was never with Jamie. Seriously fucked everything up tn.

Jack doesn’t bother to read the responses, she doesn’t need to see that all the veterans feel like shit. That’s obvious from just looking at Taylor, who’s biting her lip like she wants to bleed. But Jack can’t lie and say she doesn’t understand why Taylor took Seguin’s side without even asking for Roope’s. The bond the two of them share, well, it’s built on shared expectations and pain and heartbreak.

Leaning against the wall, she scrolls through all the messages. Everyone is talking about it. Everyone in the NHL is going to know something went down in Dallas even if barely anyone knows the details. Jack raises an eyebrow as she sees about 40 messages from Roope and those she opens.

From Roope Hintz 🦁🌟:

Good game 😀  
Jamie kissed me in the locker room  
It was to make a point bc he then took Segs outside for a meeting  
I told him what Hall said, he notices the bruises on my arms  
We can hear them fighting  
It’s all my fault, everyone knows that they were just waiting for each other  
Segs just yelled that she’s always been in love with him  
Fuck  
Fuck  
Everything went quiet  
I don’t know what my boyfriend said  
Why do i feel like the other woman  
Miro’s trying to get me out of here  
All my clothes are at Jamie’s  
Jamie and Segs are walking back in  
We didn’t break up  
But  
We didn’t say we’re still together  
Miro won’t let me talk to Jamie  
Segs is crying  
She’s too pretty to be crying over this  
I had to get out of Miro’s car to throw up  
Esa handed me three beers from home  
I’m drunbkk  
I’m going to bed  
Good night  
Don’t fall in love with two people at once

Jack sighs, the keys being hit before her mind can tell her no.

To Roope Hintz 🦁🌟:  
Too late

Even if texts dampens the emotion, Jack can sense the agony in Roope’s words. And that won’t stand because it’s Taylor’s fault. Because Taylor pushed until Roope broke and then Benn confronted Seguin and well this. This being her friend drunk and heartbroken, this being Taylor looking distraught.

Jack’s feet propel her over to Taylor without her really realizing until Taylor looks up at her.

“Jack,” Taylor says, voice rough from the sobs she’s been choking back.

“I get that Seguin is your girl and all but what the fuck was that on the ice tonight,” Jack hisses, fury making her voice go loud when she swears.

Taylor looks like she wants to start shaking, “I didn’t know they were never together,” she says quietly, eyes looking wild.

“That doesn’t give you an excuse for saying what you said,” Jack points out, shocked at how calm her voice is.

Taylor shakes her head, fingers digging into her hands, as she murmurs quietly, like she doesn’t even realize she’s saying it, “I thought. Well, Hintz had already stolen Ty’s boy away and now after that night in QXT and the photos you two posted at the all star game, she was taking you and I thought I could handle you and Nico but the idea that - ”

And then she stops, shutting her mouth. There’s something she’s not saying. Something that Taylor was close to admitting. But the rest of the team joins them and pushes them towards home.

Nico passes out the minute they get on the plane and Jack, right now, needs the company of someone else who is needing a distraction. So instead of sitting with her boyfriend, she sits next to Miles and they watch a few episodes of the Good Place until the plane touches down, late, in Jersey.

The ride back to Taylor’s is quiet, the late hour and physical and emotional exhaustion taking its toll. Jack heads straight to bed, texting Nico a quick series of heart emoji before collapsing on the mattress, door still open, clothes still on.

Nico is over there the next day a couple of hours after Jack and Taylor both wake up. It’s not awkward, not between her and Nico.

But Taylor keeps looking at them and eventually after a few hours Jack breaks, sitting up from where she’s curled up with Nico, indulging in a lazy day off after such a stressful previous one day road trip. She pulls herself out of Nico’s arms and looks directly at Taylor.

Her shoulders feel tense and she knows her voice has a bitter edge to it but all she’s been hearing on repeat for the past day is Taylor saying that she thought she was alright with her and Nico and she needs to figure out what that means.

“Taylor is something wrong?” Jack asks and Taylor looks guilty, like she’s just been caught doing something horrible.

“I’m sorry,” Taylor starts and Nico gets up from the couch at that, worry on his face, as Taylor continues, “I’m sorry, I’ll get over it.”

“Get over what?” Jack asks, waiting for the answer to be “Nico”. Waiting for Taylor to ask her, without knowing it, to give them both up. Because Jack will, both of them deserve to figure out what they are, what they could be.

“Wanting both of you,” Taylor whispers, gaze focused on the table and Jack gasps, reaching to clutch the edge of the couch so she doesn’t fall to the ground. This is everything she hoped, everything she’s dreamed of. It’s happening.

She swallows, sensing that Nico’s too shocked to say anything and Taylor looks even worse than Nico had looked in that hotel room in New York, even more ready to run. She can’t cross the room and kiss her but she can tell her that, “please don’t,” Jack says, “I don’t, I want you both too.”

Nico reaches out and squeezes her hand, striding over to Taylor and lifting her chin with a finger so she’s looking at him.

He kisses her, mouth soft, hands hesitant, like he wants her but can’t let her run. And Jack has spent a few months kissing and being kissed by Nico but she’s only seen him like this once. The night in New York, the night in the hotel. His hand is cupping Taylor’s face, lips pressed on hers. When he moves to pull away, Taylor makes a noise that Jack would almost call a whimper and wraps her hand around his waist, keeping him pressed against her as she finally kisses back.

Jack nearly rips her eyes away, something about this too intimate for her to look at for too long, even though this would be all three of them. There’s no going back. Jack steps closer, reaching out to touch them both. She does, arms wrapping around Taylor’s waist. But as soon as that happens, as soon as Taylor melts into Jack’s arms. Taylor startles away. Her eyes are wide as she sees Jack’s hands and it’s like a wall slams shut over her heart even as Jack and Nico finally figure which key to use.

“Taylor,” Jack says, close to begging and Taylor shoves Nico away. Nico stumbles back, Jack reaching to steady him with a hand.

“Don’t look at me like I’m your answer!” Taylor screams, body tense like she hadn’t just melted in Jack’s arms as Nico kissed her so gently Jack had almost looked away.

“You’re not my answer, you’re my fucking home,” Jack whispers, saying even quieter, “you both are.”

Nico nods, looking resolute, like he’s the last shooter in an 11 round shootout, and he adds, “Taylor, we.”

He doesn’t get to finish because Taylor starts shaking, voice low as she says, “Don’t you dare.”

Jack bites back a snarl at the way Nico shrinks in the face of Taylor’s refusal.

She strides across the room, wraps her hands around Taylor’s waist and kisses her. It’s not at all the way Jack pictured her first time kissing Taylor, she thought, hoped, it would more like the one Taylor and Nico had shared but this is all desperation. Jack standing on her tiptoes to kiss her, to reach her. It starts hurting but then Taylor kisses back and whatever pain existed disappears. It feels like minutes, hours, even days before they break apart and Taylor steps away, shaking.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Taylor whispers, voice quiet.

“But I wanted to,” Jack murmurs, hand reaching out to tug Taylor back but she steps back even more.

“No,” she says, shutting them down completely and Jack breaks.

“What if we gave it a shot?” Nico asks, voice stretched thin, hands pressed together so he doesn’t touch either of them, adding quietly, “would that be crazy? Why the fuck not?”

Jack doesn’t hide the smile, the hope that’s blooming. She doesn’t know how Taylor could refuse Nico but she does, because she looks between them and Jack finally understands what the look was that Taylor’s had for months around her and Nico.

It was love. It is love.

“I’m not, I know you and you... aren’t…” Taylor says, voice uncertain but growing more sure as she speaks.

“Not what?” Jack demands, Nico staring at Taylor too wide eyed to really remember how to English so Jack will have to speak for them both.

“Not ready to be with something as broken as me,” Taylor says, sounding incredibly sad but also utterly certain, “you’re young, you don’t.”

Nico swears low in Swiss-German and Jack’s voice is nearly a scream as she says, “Bullshit. That doesn’t matter.”

“Don’t be naïve, it matters.” Taylor says, voice tight, looking wrecked and Jack feels a whimper building in the back of her throat. But no one is ready for what Taylor says next, the words torn from her heart as she states with utter surety, “Come on, I love you, but you have to know that that’s not me and that’s definitely not you. Not when… not when we have a choice.”

“You love us?” Nico demands and Taylor goes white, color fading from her face.

“It doesn’t matter,” She says, daring them to tell her otherwise and Jack feels her heart shatter.

“Okay… I… okay. Sorry… I…” Jack stutters, the tears finally starting to fall as Nico pulls himself away from her, stepping towards Taylor. That move was a mistake because Taylor backs away, looking terrified.

“Get out,” she whispers and Jack does let out that whimper, hand clutching the table hard enough she thinks she might leave a dent.  
Nico looks between Jack and Taylor and nearly runs out the door. Jack hears it slam behind her boyfriend and she looks at Taylor, tears making the older girl blurry as she too leaves what she knows is home. Leaves it behind and it feels like she’s just lost something.  
She can’t drive here and she’s never felt so helpless, tears wracking her body as she sits on the doorsteps of the second place she went to when she touched down in Jersey for good. Fumbling with her phone, she calls a Lyft to take her to PK’s, worse comes to worst she has a key and she can curl up on the couch with the dogs.

No one is there when she arrives and she immediately tugs a blanket over herself and cries into Lucy’s belly. Lindsey walks in a few minutes later, arms laden with grocery bags and she doesn’t see Jack.

Jack tugs her phone out of her pocket and sees several texts from Nico. None from Taylor. None from anyone else. Well, her group chats are still going off about the Stars’ situation but.

From Nico ❤️:  
I went home  
I still  
Fuck  
You’re still mine  
I just wish she was too

To Nico ❤️:  
I’m at PK’s

From Nico ❤️:  
Do you want me to come over?

To Nico ❤️:  
PK’s not here, let me ask her if it’s ok  
It might be a bit

From Nico ❤️:  
Ask Linds

Jack bites her lip and looks up, Lindsey hadn't noticed her and she doesn’t want to scare her. So she waits until Lindsey’s finished putting away the stuff to speak.

“Hi Linds,” she says quietly and Lindsey yelps, spinning around, hand clutching her chest.

“Holy fuck, Jack. You nearly gave me a heart attack, jesus. What? Why are you here?” Lindsey demands, brows raising higher as she notices the tears on Jack’s face.

“I had a key,” Jack says, not wanting to say out loud what really happened.

Lindsey sits on the couch, facing her, waiting her out.

Eventually the silence gets too much, it was probably only a few minutes but it feels like hours to Jack, caught up in her head, cursing her heart.

“Taylor kicked me out,” Jack whispers, eyes focused on where her hand is stroking Lucy’s fur.  
Lindsey makes a noise and Jack shakes her head.

Lucy goes over to Lindsey and Jack buries her face in her hands, voice shaky as she says, “I kissed her.”

It’s at that moment when PK walks in, catching the words but not seeing Jack so she says, “Oooohh who’s getting kissed?”

“Not me,” Jack groans, watching with a pang at the way that PK settles next to Lindsey, their bodies molding together with incredible ease.

“Taylor’s just scared,” Lindsey mutters, “you guys will be fine.”

Jack sighs, curling up on the couch.

“Oh, can Nico come over?” she asks, after a few moments of quiet. Lindsey and PK exchange a look before PK nods. Jack texts her boyfriend and they curl up in a guest bedroom.

It’s a few days later when it all comes to a head. They get shutout by Montereal and everyone knows that it’s because the connection between Taylor and Nico and Taylor and Jack is off.

There’s defensive miscues, bad passes, and turnovers leading to goals, it’s not the worst game Jack has ever played in but it is absolutely the worst she’s ever played. Even Quinn calls her after, he’s that worried.

She doesn’t tell him, she hasn’t told anyone. She knows the team has picked up on the fact that she’s not living with Taylor at the moment, that Taylor is avoiding touching her, that Nico is being quiet.

The team knows them and she’s dreading practice when she gets to the rink the morning after their second loss in as many games. They can’t do this. They need to win. They need to make the playoffs.

Jack is willing to do many things for hockey, but she always swore she’d never break her heart to keep it.

Turns out, Taylor Hall makes her a damned liar.

Because if Taylor stays, she’ll live everyday with her heart in tatters but if Taylor goes…

Jack doesn’t know what happens to her heart if Taylor goes. She just knows that it would be bad.

The room is quiet when she walks in, Mack and Schiends are in the corner, Nate disappearing into the women’s section. Schiends walks over and gives her a quick hug, tapping her lightly before letting go.

“What was that for?” Jack asks, raising an eyebrow at him even though she immediately misses the contact.

“Today’s going to be hard,” Schiends murmurs.

Jack nods, “Yeah, I played really badly. I know.”

She heads out, not wanting to see the way they look at her. Getting changed in a near silent locker room is weird as hell and Jack does not like it.

Taylor walks in and smiles softly at her but doesn’t say a word, waits until Jack is leaving to get ready and Jack wants to comment but the awkwardness is there, closing in on her until words seem impossible.

Jack sighs, walking out to the ice and skating in a couple of circles. Once everyone is out there, Coach has them run a normal, hard, practice but Jack knows that something is coming. And she’s not surprised when at the end of the last passing drill, Coach blows his whistle and barks, “Hughes, Hischier, Hall, to the goal line now.”

Jack skates over and waits, Nico’s arm brushes against hers, and it’s the first touch they’ve had on the ice since everything had gone down at Taylor’s.

Coach looks at them, frown set as he says, “You three are first overalls for a fucking reason. I don’t know what is going on but I expect you not to play like dogshit beer leaguers when we are trying to get to the playoffs. Now, skate until I tell you to stop.”

Jack hasn’t had a bagskate like this in years, skating up and down the ice under the watchful eyes of her teammates, breathing hard and gradually slowing down as her legs turn to lead. She’s dragging herself across the ice by the time the next whistle blows. The piercing sound causes her to topple over, Taylor reaches out to catch so she doesn’t hurt herself.

Nico comes skating over to them, hair flopping in front of his face and he carefully keeps his hands at Taylor’s waist, keeping her upright.

A glance over to the bench tells Jack that it’s empty of her teammates and the three of them slowly make their way to the locker room.

When they get there, the entire team is waiting and Taylor sighs, sinking to the floor in an exhausted heap, “What now? My body feels like jelly.”

Andy looks more serious than Jack has ever seen as he gazes at them, the way that Jack is still holding on to Taylor’s arm, the way Nico is keeping them both close.

“I don’t know what exactly happened to you three after the Dallas game, but it’s fucking things up on the ice.”

Taylor moves to protest and it’s Palms who glares at her, “Hallsy, we need you and we need you to not be lying to yourself.”

Taylor nearly shakes out of Nico and Jack’s holds, reeling back at the way Palms had called her out.

That’s when Jack notices that everyone is dressed, that everyone had left to go to the locker room while Jack was fighting the urge to puke on the ice.

PK rolls her eyes, “Work your shit out.”

It’s an order and then she holds out Jack’s key to the Subban-Vonn house.

“Until the three of you have actually talked about whatever the fuck is going on, Jack is going to be without a place to stay,” She states, the rest of the team not hiding their grins and Nico opens his mouth before shutting it again.

Taylor looks frustrated but not enough to actually fight the rest of their team on their decision to basically tell them they’re screwing things up for the rest of them and that doesn’t fly.

Jack sighs, physically exhausted and watches as the team files out, everyone either touching their shoulders or ruffling her hair as they leave,

“Shower here, then I’ll drive you guys back to mine,” Taylor murmurs, words slow like she wanted to describe her house with a different word. Jack nods, Nico reaching a hand down to pull her to her feet, the touch lingering.

Jack takes a long shower and when she comes out Taylor’s on her phone. She is looking at it intently and Jack wants to know. Jack wants to know everything.

This sucks. It’s only been a few days without Taylor but Jack has hated most of it.

“Who’s texting you?” She asks, and Taylor looks up surprised, as though she was thinking so hard sound fell away.

“Segs, we’re trying to help each other fix our fuckups.”

Jack raises an eyebrow, “What exactly did you mess up?”

“Can we not do this here?” Taylor asks instead of answering, voice vulnerable in a way that Jack has only heard right before Taylor had kicked her out.

Nico pokes his head in, “Are we heading back to Taylor’s?”

“Yeah,” Jack says, tugging on her sweatshirt and just throwing her stuff in her gear bag without care.

“I call shotgun,” she adds, once they reach Taylor’s car and Jack notices with a pang how surprised Taylor looks.

When they get to Taylor’s, when they get home, Taylor goes straight to the kitchen and gets them waters.

She sets those on the table, sitting on the arm of the couch. Jack’s sitting on one of the ottomans and Nico’s on the seat closest to the window. They’re all in their own corners but even though Nico and Jack are together, they want the same thing and they’ll stay separated until they all come together. Somehow that’s something they’ve agreed to without talking about it.

“So,” Nico says, hands clenched on his knees, “we’re fucking things up on the ice.”

Jack nods, eyes focused on Nico even though she can see Taylor nod out of the corner of her eye.

“I never wanted,” Taylor starts, taking a deep breath, “I never wanted to ruin things between you two.”

Jack snorts, “Taylor, we kissed you. Yeah, you kissed back. But trust me, this,” she gestures between her and Nico, “only happened because we were both in love with you. And we thought you’d never want us.”

“Why wouldn’t I want you?” Taylor asks, reeling, “you’re both perfect. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”

“Fucking bullshit,” Nico snarls, sitting up straight, eyes focused on Taylor with an intensity that makes Jack shiver.

“Tay,” he murmurs, and oh, Jack has heard Nico say her name like that but for him to use that tone with Taylor’s, it’s something right finally falling into place.

“There is no one like you. When I first saw you, you took my breath away and there is nothing, nothing, better than being on the ice with you. So if we have to put aside our romantic feelings, if I have to try to forget how much I want to kiss you when you wander around the house in a tank top and those shorts during movie nights, I’ll do it. Because I’m not losing you.”

Taylor’s staring at Nico in shock and Jack keeps herself quiet, keeps herself nearly still except for nodding her head in agreement, even though all she wants to do is kiss Nico, is kiss Taylor.

Taylor’s mouth opens and then closes, getting up and walking over to Nico. Jack can’t breathe, time moving so slowly that by the time Taylor has reached Nico it feels like it’s been hours.

“Nico,” she whispers, the love and desperation in her voice so obvious that Jack wants to cry. Taylor’s never said her name like that.

But then Taylor turns, looks at Jack and it’s like the world beyond the three of them shatters to pieces. Like everything but them stops existing.

“Jack,” Taylor breathes out, in the same tone and Jack chokes on a sob.

“I’m sorry. I was afraid and when I’m afraid, I run away,” Taylor says, hand fluttering like she wants to touch them both, “But, I love you. I love you both and I refuse to ruin what we could be.”

Jack pulls herself close to them, body almost pressed against Nico’s, eyes wide as Taylor continues, “You make want to be brave.”

Nico lets a noise that Jack has never heard, it’s not exactly a whimper but it’s close.

“Let me take you out on a date somewhere,” Taylor asks, nearly begging, “I need to prove to you that I want you.”

“Yes, Taylor, of course,” Jack answers, reaching over to kiss the older woman. It’s soft and slow and Taylor kisses back immediately. Jack’s hands twine themselves in Taylor’s hair, anchoring her against Jack’s, trying to pull her even closer.

Nico waits for them to pull apart, eyes wide as he looks at both of them. Taylor turns to Nico and Jack can feel Taylor’s pulse going at a rapid pace where her hand is pressed on Taylor’s neck.

“Tay,” Nico sighs, moving over so they’re all touching. Jack’s thumb is sweeping over Taylor’s pulse as Nico pulls Taylor close, lips gently pressing against hers.

When Taylor finally pulls away, a soft sigh that Jack feels exhale from her body, Nico’s smile shifts to a frown.

“Taylor, why are you crying?” he asks, reaching out to wipe away a tear and Jack and Taylor shiver within the same breath.

“I thought I ruined everything and it doesn’t seem real,” Taylor admits.

Jack shifts a little, hand tanging with Taylor’s, “Yeah babe, I know the feeling. But you’re ours now and I’m very good about keeping what’s mine. It’s how I got to be first overall.”

Taylor laughs out loud at that but Jack is fully serious and Nico smirks at her. Nico looks utterly delighted as he pulls both of their feet into his lap, his fingers tapping on their ankles.

“I didn’t think you’d be the first one to make a reference to our shared status,” Nico murmurs and Jack realizes that it’s been days since they kissed and that’s not ok, Jack is not a fan of not getting to kiss Nico when she’s allowed to.

Nico is grinning over at her, “Wanna kiss me Hughes?”

“Always, Hischier,” Jack murmurs, leaning around Taylor to kiss Nico. They’ve got more practice and it shows, Nico’s tongue entering her mouth as they make out. They can hear Taylor’s sharp inhale and they both pull away to look at her.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Taylor whispers, hands still touching both of them.

Jack smirks, running her fingers through Taylor’s hair as she asks, “How do you think I feel seeing the two of you kiss?”

They both laugh, smirking at her and Jack feels want grow inside her as Nico reaches back to kiss Taylor again, this time it’s a little more passionate, this time it’s less hesitant, Taylor’s hands gripping Nico’s shirt.

Jack whines softly and Taylor pulls away from Nico to kiss her, fast and hard and unrelenting.

“How are we ever going to get anything done?” Nico asks, clearly only slightly joking. Taylor’s hand is still clutching his shirt, even as her other plays with Jack’s curls.

“I don’t mind getting to spend every day kissing you,” Taylor says quietly and god, Jack has to kiss her again because she now can.

Nico’s grinning face is what they both see when they pull away and Jack laughs.

“Ok, I see your point.”

Taylor nods, shifting a little, suddenly going tense in a way that puts Jack on edge.

“Taylor, what is it?” Nico asks quietly.

“Can we, uh,” Taylor pauses, biting her lip, “can we take this slow? This means way more than just a hookup.”

Jack nods, “Dinner and more kissing.”

“And then winning,” Nico adds, sounding so positive Jack decides to just believe him.

They text the team, letting them know that everything is fine and they’re ok. Taylor wants to keep this to themselves for a little bit, a flash of pain in her eyes as she explains, “It’s not that I don’t want to yell from the rooftops that I’m the luckiest person on the planet, that I’m yours and your mine, but I want to figure out what we are before we go tell everyone.”

Jack nods, squeezing Taylor’s hand. Nico kisses them both on the cheek, standing up and making them both pout at him.

“I gotta get changed for our date,” he says, grinning and Jack starts smiling.

“Wear the vest,” Taylor says, “I mean I’ll have trouble not jumping you but wear the vest.”

“The one from the home opener?” Jack asks, more to confirm that she’s going to die,than anything else. Even though she is dating them and therefore allowed to kiss them whenever they do this. At least she has an outlet.

Nico smirks, “Ok, as long as you wear a similar look to the suit you wore in Edmonton,”

“Oh so you really want me to die?” Jack says, leaning against Taylor and laughing.

“Nah, I just want you desperate and speechless,” Nico murmurs, and Jack shudders, already knowing she’s pulling out the dress she wore when they played the Stars at home. It’s what fair after all.

Considering that that dress had made both of them gaze at her like they wanted to consume her, well. She knows they’re just increasing the tension but it feels less like a game of a chase and more like a game of tag.

Jack waits until the door shuts after Nico to head upstairs and get ready, the house suddenly feeling incredibly empty in a way that reminds her of the hotel room in New York, like something key is missing.

She snaps a photo of the dress and makeup look and sends it to a few group chats with a text reading: date night look 🔥

GC: Believe in Miracles 🇱🇷😍🔥🏒

Cole: you wearing that jewelry they got you?  
Me: yep!  
Alex: DAMN  
Trevor: J, do you want to get eaten out in the middle of a restaurant?  
Me: @alex please hit your boyfriend  
Alex: was already do it  
Cole: fucking beautiful babe  
Alex: they got really lucky and if they don’t know that i will fight them  
*Cole, Trevor, the Lesser Knight all put !! on Alex’s message*  
Me: lol  
Me: ilusm

She notices that her thread from Willy has been active since she sent the photo and she thumbs over to it.

From: Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
BABE YOU LOOK SO GOOD  
WAIT IS THIS A DATE NIGHT WITH THE PEOPLE YOU WERE CRYING OVER?????

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
First of all I wasn’t crying over them  
Also yes

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
GET IT!!!!

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
It’s not too much for a first date?

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Jack, you shouldn’t dumb down your hotness just because you don’t want to have sex after the first date

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Sounds like you’re talking from experience baby, something happen within the past month?

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Yeah, we finally started dating. I got a hat trick and showed up in just in my jersey in his office after doing media. Fuck, it was really good. I moved in to his place a few days ago. The team doesn’t know but I don’t think I’ve ever been happier

To Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖 :  
Good, i’m really happy for you

From Willy 🍁👑👑👑💖:  
Ditto rookie, now go

Jack finishes up by putting on the jewlery they’d gotten her for Hannukah, beaming at how perfect it looks with the dress, how it almost softens the sex appeal.

She walks down the stairs, her heels obvious and as she looks over the railing she sees Taylor and Nico, jaws dropped as they look at her.

“Fuck, Jack,” Taylor hisses, words sounding strangled, “I almost just want to stay in so no one else sees you like that.”

Nico smirks, “Come on Taylor, it’s not like she’s just wearing our gifts and our numbers.”

Jack squeaks, the image sending blood rushing downwards.

“Nico,” she groans out, eyes wide as she takes in what they’re wearing.

Nico smooths down his vest, strides over to Jack and kisses her hard, so she’s left breathless and unsteady, releasing into Taylor’s arms. Taylor immediately holds her, tilting her head down for another kiss that leaves Jack feeling consumed.

When Taylor finally pulls away, she turns her head slightly and tugs Nico into a kiss with Jack pressed between them. This, holy fuck. This is the best thing Jack has ever seen, this is the best place Jack has ever been, these two people she loves kissing each other with her fingers on their skin.

“Ok,” Taylor laughs, eyes bright with a joy that Jack never thought she’d get to see off of the ice, “I really want to go to dinner.”

Jack sighs, Nico squeezing her hand and they head out, jackets covering the carefully chosen outfits. They don’t take Taylor’s car, instead all squishing together in the back of an uber.

Jack’s hands are tapping on Nico’s thigh, her ankle nudges Taylor’s as she sits between them. They head into the restaurant, one a few multi michelin stars restaurants in Jersey.

There is a secluded table in the back that they sit at and the moment they are all seated, Taylor reaches across to grab Nico’s hand, her foot pressed against Jack’s ankle under the table like now that she gets to touch them, she never wants to stop.

It’s a good dinner, good food, better company even though Jack keeps biting her lip to stop from tugging both of them in for kisses nearly every five minutes.

They get back to Taylor’s and Nico stands on the curb like he’s not sure he can come in or not, which is ridiculous. Nico’s theirs, he belongs in their house. Taylor’s the one to tug him inside, shutting the door behind them and pressing him against it, leaning in to kiss him with teeth and tongue. Jack whimpers, biting into her lower lip to try to stifle it, she doesn’t want them to stop, wants to watch them forever.

“Upstairs?” she asks, her voice more hesitant than she means it to be.

Taylor nods, walking over and kissing Jack quickly, taking Nico by the hand and leading upstairs to Taylor’s bedroom, with its massive bed. Jack has been here only a few times and now Taylor is picking her up and laying her on the bed. The look in Taylor’s eyes makes Jack want to ask why they’re going slowly, why they can’t take her apart right now but she knows better than to voice those things.

Knows what they have is fragile and growing, but that quick spell of rain could wash away the soil.

Nico pulls her into his arms, kissing her forehead and Taylor heads into the closet to change, tossing an oversized pair of sweats Nico’s way and dropping a pair of shorts and a lacy tank on Jack’s stomach before she shuts the door.

Jack sighs, squirming out of Nico’s hold and walking into the bathroom to change. Taylor’s clothes are definitely big on her but it feels comfy rather than sexy like they probably are meant to.

She walks back in and curls into Nico, who’s laying shirtless on the bed, on his phone, browsing the scores of the games they missed. Nico leans down to kiss her softly and Taylor joins them, arms wrapping around Jack as she throws her legs over Nico’s.

Taylor’s grip sudden tightens around them and Jack suddenly realizes that Nico is trying to wiggle away.

“Just going to turn off the light, kiss Jack, I’ll be back by the time you’re done, schatzli,” Nico murmurs, grinning softly at the way Taylor relaxes. Jack grins up at him, before leaning over to kiss Taylor, hand stroking the skin at Taylor’s shoulder. Taylor kiss back, pulling away too soon for Jack’s liking with a sigh.

Nico’s hands are pressing against her back as she kisses Taylor again. This time it’s Jack who pulls away, opening her eyes to find Taylor grinning at her.

Nico leans over Jack to kiss Taylor, the two of them making out while Jack watches in awe. Fuck, she’s going to have to sleep between them and if Taylor’s rather adorable clingyness over Nico simply turning off the lights is any indication, Jack isn’t going to be able to sneak out and get herself off.

“Sleep now,” Taylor murmurs, pulling away from Nico, lips swollen and hair mussed and Jack wants to see her messed up by both of them, wants to leave a hickey where people notice, wants to claim Taylor as hers. It’s a feeling of possessiveness that shocks her and makes her bury her head into the pillow.

Taylor snuggles close to her and she can feel her girlfriend’s, they never said but Jack hopes that’s a talk to come, heartbeat in her ears. Jack falls asleep smiling, Nico’s hands stroking her arms and Taylor’s heart lulling her to sleep in a new place.

When she wakes up, she feels more rested than she has in days and instead of checking her phone, she just curls around Taylor, they’ve shifted a little as they slept but they’re all still pressed close together.

The next few days are quiet, going from the rink to Taylor’s, with a quick stop in Philly where Jack takes them to see the Liberty Bell and kisses them both in front of it. They are keeping their relationship on the downlow, though Taylor can’t stop touching them and that definitely causes some raised eyebrows in the locker room. The three of them don’t care, happy and very in love even if none of them have used that word. And the team is playing really well, they’re in the second wild card spot and they’ve won their last three games by a margin of 13-2.

They get into Carolina late at night, basically going right from the rink after they win to the airport. Jack ends up sharing headphones with Taylor so they can watch Succession, they’re catching up before season 3, Nico’s head on her shoulder as he sleeps.

Jack knows the team is concerned but she can’t bring herself to care.

The next day, they get to the rink, completing their game day routine, ducking away to a storage closet like a cliche to exchange quick good luck kisses before heading out onto the ice. The Canes are good team and even though the Devils are clicking, they’re down by one heading into the third. Jack raises an eyebrow as she notices that Taylor is talking to Coach, who’s concerned about the fact that three of them each of them only have one goal in the past three games. Whatever she’s saying, Coach is agreeing with them and she bounds over to them, grinning as he steps away.

“What’s up Hallsy?” Jack asks, lips turning into a smile at the way Taylor seems to be almost bouncing.

“Well, two things,” Taylor starts, slipping her hand into her pocket, “it’s Valentine's Day and I realized I love you both”

Jack doesn’t care that they’re in the visiting locker room, that they haven’t told the team, Taylor just said she loves them, Jack is kissing her. Jack reaches over and tugs Taylor close, kissing her gently, hands wrapping around Taylor’s waist.

“Ok, sorry I had to do that,” Jack murmurs and Nico laughs beside them both, fingers stroking Jack’s back as he leans in to kiss Taylor quickly,

“Love you too,” he whispers, holding them both and Taylor grins.

She pulls out whatever was in her pocket and opens her hand to reveal a key, it’s the same key that Jack has. It’s a key to Taylor’s house.

“Move in?” Taylor asks, looking at Nico and Nico nods, smile taking over his face. He kisses her again, this time it’s longer, slower, full of promise that they can’t fulfil when they still have a game to finish.

Jack wipes away the tear that’s fallen and gets pulled into a hug, squeezed between them.

“What was the other thing?” Jack asks, raising an eyebrow as Taylor’s grin gets wider, Jack didn’t know that was possible.

“Oh, I convinced coach to play us together during the third,” Taylor smirks.

Jack nearly shierks excitedly but she doesn’t need to team to start looking over at them. Nico raises an eyebrow, “Not that I’m not thrilled, but Jack and I are both centers.”

“I’ve played wing before,” Jack mutters, “it’s Valentine's Day, I want to play on a line with my boyfriend and girlfriend, the rest of the team can deal.”

“Possessive eh Hughes?” Nico asks, voice low and eyes dark that makes Jack want to go back to their home and their bed and be made theirs.

“You’re mine,” she murmurs, hand still gripping Taylor’s.

Taylor laughs, delighted.

“Let’s go out and kick some ass,” Andy says as the intermission ends and Jack gives Taylor and Nico quick butt taps as they head straight out to center ice.

Nico wins the faceoff, puck going right back to PK who throws it to Taylor who’s racing up the ice. Taylor tosses it back to Nico who’s circled below the goal line and Jack skates fast and slides between two defenders, puck on her stick and in the goal in the span of seconds.

It reminds Jack off the first point she ever scored in the Devils, except this time it was her getting the goal. Taylor crashes into her, nearly tackling her except Nico collides into her back and keeps them both upright.

“Fucking beautiful,” Nico shouts in her ear, grinning as Taylor nods, eyes focused on Jack even as PK joins them, glove giving them headtaps.

“I love you,” Taylor shouts and Jack can’t resist.

“I know,” Jack shouts back, beaming at the way they both start laughing, hands still clutching her like they never want to let go.

The feeling she gets on the ice with them, there’s nothing better and she can’t wait to get home. To get to their bed in their house and celebrate because as she looks between them, the fierceness and love equally shining in their eyes, she just knows this, this game, this life, is theirs for the taking.

They’re all very good at getting what they want. And what Jack wants, forever, is this. The feeling of their arms around her, the promise that only she and Taylor knows is there in Nico’s eyes, Taylor’s reverent murmur of “beautiful” in her ear on the bench.

She gets that another two times that period alone, a hat trick of first overall goals, a hat trick of hugs, a hat trick of “I love you’s” shouted on the ice.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos make me happier than my team winning. 
> 
> Title comes from Haunt You by the Social House 
> 
> the jewelry that Nico and Taylor get Jack are [these](https://www.cartier.com/en-us/collections/jewelry/jewelry-selections/radiate-in-yellow-gold-earrings/b8301238-amulette-de-cartier-earrings-xs-model.html) earrings and [this](https://www.cartier.com/en-us/collections/jewelry/jewelry-selections/dazzling-and-delicate-yellow-gold-necklaces/b7224512-juste-un-clou-necklace.html) necklace
> 
> And a final thank you to you, my reader, for reading this far. this fic was truly a labor of love and I'm hoping that I'll have another few fics in the series soon. Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/hockeytoruleall), I'd love to hear your thoughts and talk about verse
> 
> should you be interested: here is the [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6qJ6wcpyHpBz2RMMFubJWA?si=nWsyP3gvQbesk2Zf4pApVQ) I used while writing and here is the [Pinterest board](https://www.pinterest.com/abbysorkin/rule-63-hughes/) I made


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